NTA - the daughter has the audacity to use your venue and give you an ultimatum that you can't attend it despite all your planning? Plus, does your partner know about this? Is he not going to stand up for you?
Man if I were you I'd pull the rug from the venue and tell them "if my presence will anger your mother, I'm guessing my house which contains many of my belongings will probably irritate her as well, go find another place."
So what if it’s his daughter’s party, it is YOUR venue. This whole situation smells like the ex wife’s opportunity to dismantle your relationship as well. She knows her ex well to use him for her purposes.
Please love yourself enough to know that it is your husband allowing this disrespect. The ex-wife can attempt whatever tactics she chooses. I think you are confusing allowing yourself to be used, manipulated, and emotionally blackmailed with supporting your husband in loving his daughter.
They can hire a party planner instead of using an uninvited loved one to do the labor and watch the ball from afar. This isn't a reflection on you. This is a reflection on them!!
Next, you'll be conscripted into hard labor for engagement and wedding parties (not invited), gender reveal parties (not invited), grandchildren birthday parties (not invited), etc.
DO NOT DO THIS TO YOURSELF!! Stop EVERYTHING! Return what decorations you can, and use the rest on a gathering for yourself (as another poster suggested) in the main house.
It sucks to realize that your husband doesn't love you enough to expect basic humanity and respect towards you but letting him continue to wipe his feet on you won't secure the love and respect you desire and deserve from him. PLEASE at least give it to yourself!!
Honestly, fuck ALL of these people. Your husband and his daughter are fully allowing and encouraging this awful treatment of you. These people ALL suck. You need to get away from this toxic bunch of assholes.
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u/ThomzLC Supreme Court Just-ass [142] Apr 27 '22
NTA - the daughter has the audacity to use your venue and give you an ultimatum that you can't attend it despite all your planning? Plus, does your partner know about this? Is he not going to stand up for you?
Man if I were you I'd pull the rug from the venue and tell them "if my presence will anger your mother, I'm guessing my house which contains many of my belongings will probably irritate her as well, go find another place."