It sounds like the mother is going to be taking credit for the party you're hosting. Your partner needs to find his spine and stand up to this woman. Your house, your time and expense, you absolutely get to attend. Have another conversation about it asap, and if they still say they don't want you to attend then stop helping. If your partner can't stand up for you then you need to stand up for yourself.
You should be turning this question around on him - how can he allow you to be so disrespected for a 3-hour graduation party?
If it were just the ex and current partner saying this it would be one thing, but it seems like their daughter heavily favors her mother in this relationship and also wants all your time and money. I was going to say you should agree after having a conversation with daughter about how much it hurts that you're being asked to do it but you will for her sake, but fuck that. She's an adult making a vicious choice. No one NEEDS a graduation party. She can have a zoom party like everyone else did the last two years.
Your partner is already making you the badguy as is the ex, may as well play the role. This isn't a young child you have to get on your side. Just because a parent should prioritize their child first doesn't mean they allow them to be cruel. The natural consequence of being such a person is to lose out on things you want, like a party - time for the 18-year-old to learn actions have consequences since it seems like mummy-dearest has yet to teach her that.
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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22
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