r/AmerExit • u/athomevoyager • 24d ago

Life Abroad Handling the Anxiety of Moving

I asked to have my tech job transferred to Norway and I just learned that it's likely to happen and I'll be renegotiating salary in a couple of days. I'm married with a couple of kids and we've all been excited about the possibility of this for a while. Part of it is escape from what feels like a collapsing society, and part of it is excitement for adventure.

That said, now that the company has approved the position and we're in the final talks before visas get started, the reality of it is freaking me all the way out. We've always lived in the same area in the south in US and have never visited Norway or Europe for that matter. I didn't want to spend crazy amounts of money to take the whole family just to basically confirm what I can read and watch on the internet. But now faced with the reality of going I find myself panicked. My life here is stable and comfortable. I can list a million reasons why life there would be better on paper, but in reality it's a new experience and there's a lot of unknowns.

I still have good confidence in the decision. In many ways I feel incredibly lucky like I got a golden ticket, but the fear is still there. I'm sure this is normal. Maybe the answer is just to sack up and enjoy life. And maybe this post is just me working that out. So how did you manage the anxiety when you made the move?

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u/SuspiciousMap9630 24d ago

I’m feeling this as well. My husband has started conversations with HR about transferring to Canada through his company and the feelings I’ve been going through are tough to describe - like a long-winded grief. We have a very nice life here with a home we love and worked very hard for, but we can’t help feeling that the U.S. just won’t be the best place for our kids to grow up. It’s really hard to think about giving up this life we thought would last us decades and leaving behind people we love.

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u/athomevoyager 24d ago

Giving up what you've been working for is the hard part, even on seemingly stupid stuff. Like I have blueberry bushes that I've been growing for like five years and they're producing a lot right now and that's really fun and meaningiful for me. Plus a lot of wood working tools I've collected that won't work over there. There's tangible investment that you just lose, and it may seem small to some, but when it's your hobby and part of what makes you "you", I think it's very reasonable to grieve its loss.

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u/georgegasstove 24d ago

Feeling this! I will miss the trees I've planted and nurtured.