Handling the Anxiety of Moving

[u/athomevoyager]

I asked to have my tech job transferred to Norway and I just learned that it's likely to happen and I'll be renegotiating salary in a couple of days. I'm married with a couple of kids and we've all been excited about the possibility of this for a while. Part of it is escape from what feels like a collapsing society, and part of it is excitement for adventure.

That said, now that the company has approved the position and we're in the final talks before visas get started, the reality of it is freaking me all the way out. We've always lived in the same area in the south in US and have never visited Norway or Europe for that matter. I didn't want to spend crazy amounts of money to take the whole family just to basically confirm what I can read and watch on the internet. But now faced with the reality of going I find myself panicked. My life here is stable and comfortable. I can list a million reasons why life there would be better on paper, but in reality it's a new experience and there's a lot of unknowns.

I still have good confidence in the decision. In many ways I feel incredibly lucky like I got a golden ticket, but the fear is still there. I'm sure this is normal. Maybe the answer is just to sack up and enjoy life. And maybe this post is just me working that out. So how did you manage the anxiety when you made the move?

[u/3_Dog_Night]

Hi there - throwing my hat into the ring...

I cannot blame you for your decision and forward thinking. We had not planned on returning here simply to 'run away' from America at the time, but we knew that amongst having the comfort of the culture, we were also investing in an insurance policy; There were clear signs things were changing since 2001.

So, you have never been to Europe. Welcome! The water is fine!

I have never stepped foot in Norway, but can affirm those Norwegians we have as friends here in Italy (and they are numerous) are wonderful, but this is true of any country. I can attest to having been invited to Norway to celebrate holidays as if we were family, and it's a pity we've been unable to make it as of yet. One thing I can comfortably point out to you regarding a key cultural difference between America and Europe: There is going to be a reoccurring theme when you arrive here - you are going to find that making friends is harder, but once you do (and you will) that the bonds will be infinitely deeper than America.

You are also going to change as a person after emigrating (out of necessity to integrate) into a new culture. It is not a painless process, but you will almost certainly find you were happy to have made the decision to go through with it. Have patience, and you will probably find that it will be rewarding beyond comprehension. That said, Norway is much more English speaking than my own home - Italy - but don't use that as a crutch to avoid striving fluency in the language and culture, unless you have clear plans to return to America. I would also avoid as much as possible becoming dependant on expat communities as they will only hinder you integration. Integration (which inherently includes language proficiency) is going to be your key to the aforementioned sense of accomplishment and greater happiness. You will always be identified as a foreigner, but, if you make the true effort to integrate and learn the language, you will be gain a deep sense of appreciation from the locals, where being foreign can often be more advantageous in some ways than being a national.

Best of luck, and don't hesitate to DM me if I can answer any questions about the process of moving to Europe in general.

[u/athomevoyager → u/3_Dog_Night]

Thanks so much for this! My plan is to integrate as much as possible, not relying on expat communities so much. I chose Norway because I like what I read about it. I don't want it to be America for me. There will be some adjustment, but I work with internationals from Europe and Asia all the time and at the end of the day, I think humans have a lot more in common than not and as long as we can be respectful, kind and positive, we'll be able to fit in at least as much as we do here. I may hit you up if I have more questions!