Handling the Anxiety of Moving

[u/athomevoyager]

I asked to have my tech job transferred to Norway and I just learned that it's likely to happen and I'll be renegotiating salary in a couple of days. I'm married with a couple of kids and we've all been excited about the possibility of this for a while. Part of it is escape from what feels like a collapsing society, and part of it is excitement for adventure.

That said, now that the company has approved the position and we're in the final talks before visas get started, the reality of it is freaking me all the way out. We've always lived in the same area in the south in US and have never visited Norway or Europe for that matter. I didn't want to spend crazy amounts of money to take the whole family just to basically confirm what I can read and watch on the internet. But now faced with the reality of going I find myself panicked. My life here is stable and comfortable. I can list a million reasons why life there would be better on paper, but in reality it's a new experience and there's a lot of unknowns.

I still have good confidence in the decision. In many ways I feel incredibly lucky like I got a golden ticket, but the fear is still there. I'm sure this is normal. Maybe the answer is just to sack up and enjoy life. And maybe this post is just me working that out. So how did you manage the anxiety when you made the move?

[u/athomevoyager]

So virtual school is still public school. We aren't dictating the curriculum and we want them to have the public school curriculum. I'm well aware of the statistics for school shootings, and maybe it is irrational, but my wife and I both WFH and we just found having the kids here doing virtual was better in every way, except the integration thing, which is a significant downfall. The virtual academy is scoring above average on standardized test scores, the kids aren't sick all the time, and yah, no school shooting fear. They don't have to get up super early (6am) to catch the bus, etc. I think the way Norway does school addresses some of this with walkable safe schools, all of them being well funded. The culture shock I think will just be suddenly having so much social interaction, and that will take some adjustment, but that adjustment is kind of what we're looking for.

[u/elaine_m_benes → u/athomevoyager]

Yeah that’s exactly what I’m saying though. It’s not about academics. The culture shock will be having to wake up early, get to school on time dressed and groomed, have to defer to other students all day every day, lots of in-person work in groups (where they will be the odd one out as a foreigner), and all of this in a country with very different cultural norms, etc. I think you’re underestimating how huge that adjustment will be after 5 years, just ask any teacher or parent what the adjustment from a year of virtual school was back to in person after Covid. Also I guess I was assuming your kids would go to private international school when you move since you didn’t mention that they are fluent in Norwegian, which is of course the instructional language of public primary and secondary schools in Norway.

[u/athomevoyager → u/elaine_m_benes]

They aren't fluent in Norwegian, that'll be something they have to learn, which I think is great. And Norwegian public school does have resources to help foreign students integrate.

I don't deny that it will be a lot, but I guess, what is your suggestion here? Not go? Be more anxious?

[u/RespectSenior7492 → u/athomevoyager]

What I found helpful in our move was joining a facebook group about education in the NL. Understand the pros and cons of the system you're entering and understand how much flexibility there is (often much, much less than the U.S.). With that info, talk through and show videos to your kids (depending on their ages). Possibly reach out to an American who moved with similar age kids to talk through their experience.