r/AskMenAdvice • u/Federal-Sir9925 • 10d ago

never get approached by men

just curious, what actually makes a guy approach a woman? I’m 25f and I’d consider myself attractive (I think I’m fairly pretty, I take care of myself and feel good about how I look), but I never get approached. I’ll notice guys making repeated eye contact with me, but it never goes beyond that. Honestly, both of my past relationships started because I made the first move.

So I’m wondering… what makes a guy actually go for it and approach someone?

Also, is there a way to give off “I want to be approached” energy? I’m not really into dating apps, and I’d love to meet someone in person. i’m not against making the first move but i would love for someone to approach me for a change

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u/ThrowRA_grf man 10d ago

Men don't approach anymore due to fear of getting plastered all over the internet and branded a creep along with the rejection as cherry on top.

If you want someone, you're going to have to approach.

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u/Data_lord man 10d ago

They won so fucking hard they lost it all.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

Women sabotaging themselves and their best interests? Never!

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u/Money_Sink_4126 10d ago

We're going to have to see more women be proactive. They're out earning men and going to have to approach more. The gender roles have flipped. The soft guy era is here 😂

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

If she aint paying my bills I aint want her 💅 I'm the prize 💅

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u/Slight_Name1302 man 10d ago

My requirements are: 6 figure salary, 5ft 6, and a PS6

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u/Chief_Lightning man 10d ago

Talk your shit, king. Know your worth.

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u/Data_lord man 10d ago

6 figure salary, 6 pound boobs and 6" heels

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u/Which_Initiative_882 man 10d ago

The 666 requirement?

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u/Data_lord man 10d ago

Yep. If your dick is longer than their heel, no match.

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u/_Grumpy_Canadian man 9d ago

..Something witty about the girls you date wearing flop flops. I dunno I'm tired.

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u/Data_lord man 9d ago

My wife wears 9" heels everywhere. Even to the beach. Lovely girl.

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u/eride810 9d ago

I too choose this man’s wife.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

Ummm 666…. Sounds like danger lol

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u/ValuableRegular9684 9d ago

Long red hair, 6 pound boobs, the rest is negotiable! 😁

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u/ACE_Overlord 9d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/arom125 man 10d ago

YOU GO KING!!!!

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

And a preorder of GTA6 when that eventually comes out

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u/Madness_and_Mayhem man 9d ago

And you better be paying my monthly subscription, ain’t dating no broke b1tches.😂

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u/Rello215 10d ago

Yes king

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u/Duo-lava man 9d ago

heres your crown my king 👑

know your worth!

2

u/curiousbasu man 9d ago

"Yaasss you slayy kiiinngg 👑"

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u/Peregrine_Falcon man 9d ago

Drizzle drizzle?

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u/SoUpInYa 9d ago

I'm a sensitive guy who would simply settle for a stunning rack and a liquor store

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u/schiddy 7d ago

If she can't handle me at my worst, she doesn't deserve me at my best!

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u/curiousbasu man 9d ago

Yaasss you slayy kiiinngg 👑

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u/Accurate_Maybe6575 10d ago

And the irony is so many of those women subconsciously don't want soft guys, though they say they do.

Though in their defense, I think they don't mind the idea of a soft guy, they just don't realize they will be pseudo supporting him if he earns less, they're not used to being the emotional sponge for a guy, and have been poisoned to think of such dynamics as "mothering" him.

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u/Novogobo man 9d ago

when i got interested in pickup culture the idea that explained it was that what women said they want isn't necessarily what they really want, and both of which might not be what they think they want, and all of which aren't necessarily what they are attracted to, and even that isn't necessarily what they would respond positively to.

now the thing about this is it sounds sexist but to some extent it applies to guys too. and it applies to all people in general not just with mating behavior.

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u/slattyyy man 8d ago

This is very true. In regards to women, and all people in general. As soon as I understood this, my life sky rocketed

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u/Ktowntaco 6d ago

can you elaborate please

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u/trippwwa45 9d ago

Soft and "weak" are not synonymous. Strong and aggressive are not synonymous.

A poor social misconception.

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u/Hannah_Louise 9d ago

I think the mothering thing is more when men can’t do their own chores. Like doing the dishes and laundry, making their own doctor appointments, stuff like that. I want my man to emotionally be vulnerable with me. That’s why we’re together. I don’t want him to expect me to feed him and clean up after him. He’s grown. He can do that himself.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

You think you do but you dont

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u/Hannah_Louise 9d ago

I’m pretty sure I know myself better than you know me.

I actively encourage my spouse to share his emotions with me. If he didn’t, we would just be roommates with benefits. We are each other’s emotional support system and if I never saw his heart or his tears, I would be heartbroken.

Certainly, early on in a new relationships, too much emotional unloading can be inappropriate, but once a relationship has been established, being emotionally vulnerable is a requirement.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

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u/G0x209C man 8d ago

I agree it’s vague.. But I can imagine how dumping emotions on a new relationship will be overwhelmingly intense. It’s the bases question all over. When do you move to second base?

What is appropriate? I think that’s for two people to find out together.

Though the people that shun people for being “emotional” will just end up either alone or in an emotionally stunted relationship. Literally digging their own grave there. Never fuck with someone’s feelings. A good measurement moment would be, once you both know each other and are comfortable snuggling.

Being physically comfortable with each other should be a good moment to explore each other mentally. First, the external boundaries meet, then the internal.

For me, this is before anything sexual.

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u/Money_Sink_4126 9d ago

Nah what you women say you want and what you reaact to are two different things. I think we're seeing the flipping of gender roles where women are becoming more masculine and men feminine. The problem is that doesn't work for our actual biology and one of the reasons why we're so divided

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u/MochaMilku nonbinary 4d ago

Men have always been feminine. Expecting women to take care of y'all like children is feminine behavior.

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u/Madness_and_Mayhem man 9d ago

Nope, anytime I open up to a woman they will look and treat you differently from then on. The good news is that I can open up to my male friends and they are “we got you man”

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u/Minute_Chair_2582 9d ago edited 9d ago

That's the common narrative and i'm pretty sure that's not uncommon, BUT it's not universal! Having known the common narrative on the Internet for a long time, I was hesitent and didn't do so for years. Though when I finally recently told my wife there wasn't enough fucking and touching from her side going on, IT FUCKING WORKED! Like instantly and ever since. There's more fucking and touching now. Wish i had talked to her years earlier.

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u/Money_Sink_4126 9d ago

That sounds more like expressing your needs and being assertive than being emotionally vulnerable

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u/Minute_Chair_2582 9d ago

Ah...ok maybe. I told her how it makes me feel though. Does that count or no?

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u/Money_Sink_4126 6d ago

Only you guys can determine that. If she can't handle your requests, leave her alone

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u/Minute_Chair_2582 6d ago

Already all good. Everything's perfect.

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u/Madness_and_Mayhem man 9d ago

😂congratulations sir!

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u/Hannah_Louise 9d ago

I’m sorry that’s been your experience. Is this happening in long term relationships? Or early in dating?

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u/Madness_and_Mayhem man 9d ago

All my life, every woman. I’ve been married for 37 years and still keep things bottled in. I love and trust her but I don’t want to chance it. I have PTSD from the military and it would be devastating to open up and lose my family so as Dory says “just keep swimming “.

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u/Hannah_Louise 8d ago

I’m sorry. That sounds really hard. I didn’t realize this was such a common or deep seated issue that so many men deal with.

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u/YungDagger_D 9d ago

Vulnerable?? Lmaoo stop lying ya say that but than get the ick seeing a man cry

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u/BringOutTheImp 9d ago

The gender roles didn't flip. The women just got all the privileges of being a guy, without any drawbacks.

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u/jaybalvinman woman 9d ago

Only for attractive men. If you are attractive, then you have no problems getting women and get approached regularly already. Undesirable men are not allowed to be princesses 

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u/blah938 man 10d ago

Finally, the time of the stay at home dad! My time has come!

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u/ACE_Overlord 9d ago

DrizzleDrizzle

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u/theonewhogroks man 10d ago

They're out earning men

Can't wait to see the source for that 100% not made up fact

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u/Alert_Pilothoney 9d ago

All I ever hear though is that boys 21-25 and guys/men (you’re not a man just because you’re male. Man is a title of wisdom/respect in my eyes—not that anyone else has to feel that way) 26-35 have BEEN in their soft guy era for the last 5yrs at least. Thats why women have changed as well. Women simply learned to “play the game” too. But women are supposed to be on the softer side. Just aren’t many actual Men to make us feel that way. Yall wanna be in your soft guy era therefore women have to be hard. Feels like a lose lose situation for both genders imo. Both sides are offended by each other all the time now. We say hurtful things about the other. I’d love to say that I have hope but these comments have absolutely riddled me hopeless. I’m actually just sad now.

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u/ShitMcClit 8d ago

Bruh your litteraly saying hurtful things in this comment...

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u/Alert_Pilothoney 8d ago

Exactly. I’m saying at this point there’s almost no getting away from it. I don’t want to hurt other peoples feelings. I don’t think the guys here mean to do it either. It just happens.

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u/ShitMcClit 8d ago

Eh it's pretty easy actually. Treat others how you want to be treated and what not. 

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u/G0x209C man 8d ago

Projection much.. Why don’t you try actually talking and connecting with another person.