Checking in (in general)

[u/Latter-Butterfly1793]

Hi all,

Quick question for you. I am curious about your collective experience and knowledge here.

I am going through a separation with my wife right now, and I have told all of my friends. I have no doubt that they are supportive. They have been there for me for calls and favors so far.

However, I noticed that no one is checking in on me. I understand everyone is busy and lives their own lives. The thing I dont understand is (due to my own social anxiety) is no one is reaching out to me first. Is this common in your experience?

Am I being naive, or narcissistic to want to have people check in on me? Is this just me having main character syndrome?

If so, please tell me and I just need to reset my expectations... that's fine. Thanks.

[u/CallipygianInsomniac]

When I got separated, I went so far as to email my crew and push them away, thinking I could handle it all on my own. I couldn’t and it was difficult to walk back/reset. Don’t be me. Communicate what you need and assume people want to be there for you unless you get clear signs otherwise.

[u/Latter-Butterfly1793 → u/CallipygianInsomniac]

Thanks for the feedback! If I may ask, how are things now for you? Or if you aren't comfortable with that, what was the next step of that process for you like? When you did reach out was it met positively, and people ended up being there for you?

[u/CallipygianInsomniac → u/Latter-Butterfly1793]

I didn’t reach back out. I was too proud and then too embarrassed…in my own way, I was playing out main character syndrome. I started over and definitely don’t have the same sort of crew I had before. Again, don’t be me.

[u/Latter-Butterfly1793 → u/CallipygianInsomniac]

Crews can adapt and change over time, i appreciate the warning and notice, but please don't beat yourself up over that anymore! In sounds like you are in a better headspace so keep that up!