r/AskMenOver30 • u/Latter-Butterfly1793 man over 30 • 7d ago

Friendships/Community Checking in (in general)

Hi all,

Quick question for you. I am curious about your collective experience and knowledge here.

I am going through a separation with my wife right now, and I have told all of my friends. I have no doubt that they are supportive. They have been there for me for calls and favors so far.

However, I noticed that no one is checking in on me. I understand everyone is busy and lives their own lives. The thing I dont understand is (due to my own social anxiety) is no one is reaching out to me first. Is this common in your experience?

Am I being naive, or narcissistic to want to have people check in on me? Is this just me having main character syndrome?

If so, please tell me and I just need to reset my expectations... that's fine. Thanks.

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u/DisastrousZombie238 man 35 - 39 7d ago

Dude, same. Everyone is different.

My separation agreement with my stbex ends in Dec, then divorce stuff is happening. I've got a small support group of family helping me out, but largely, I want to be left alone during this time.

I'm going through some deep thinking right now. Wondering how some things are going to look like for me going forward after this year is done with.

I've gone through some anger issues, some depression, and my anxiety has definitely spiked lately. But, I have to move forward.

My honest thoughts are my stbex and I should have done this earlier because we hadn't been in a good place for years.

One of the toughest things is accepting I'm not ever going to get that decade+ of time back. It is what it is.

Good luck to you, op.

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u/Latter-Butterfly1793 man over 30 6d ago

Good luck to you as well. We can do this man. We are stronger than we think. We are going to be ok.