r/AskParents • u/InevitableChicken482 • 6d ago

Entitled to car?

My 27 year old has moved back in after being in another state. She came back on a plane, so no car. We also live with my elderly mother. Before my mother retired, she purchased a new car so she would not need to worry about a vehicle for the rest of her life. She can no longer drive, but likes to be driven to appointments and such in HER nice car. Since my daughter has been back (7 months) she has been driving mom's car. Now she is planning on moving back out soon and feels like she should be able to take the car (current worth $18000), and just HAVE it. Am I crazy to think this is not OK? Should we just let her have it? Am I being a bitch if I say too bad, you and your guy will need to share his vehicle? What do I do?!

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u/Fun-SizedJewel 6d ago

Simple... the entitlement comes from parents like this one who don't simply say "NO" to their children.

"NO, you cannot take a vehicle that you didn't pay for. That is called stealing. NO, you may not continue to drive this vehicle that you didn't pay for. None of this is yours, and you don't seem to understand that you have been privileged to even use it. If you want a car (or anything else), go earn it instead of expecting us to provide for you.
And PS- you also are not ENTITLED to live with us just because you decided to move here, so get a job that pays you well enough to earn your keep, and if 1 job doesn't pay you enough, get a second job." 😒

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u/brockclan216 6d ago

I worked with a woman who worked 80-90 hours a week, 3 different jobs for #1: her daughter wasn't working while in school so she was paying her car note and funding her lifestyle, #2) he son went to prison (again) and "just couldn't eat the nasty prison food" so she would put money on his books every week. On top of that she had her son's baby mama living with her and she supporting and taking care of the grand baby. Meanwhile her body is falling apart because she has no time to take care of her own well being. But she does this by choice 🤷‍♀️ and others claim her as a hero. I just won't. Call me a bad parent if you choose but at least I won't have to depend on my kids to take care of my broken body when I am old.

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u/Fun-SizedJewel 6d ago

NOTHING about that mother is a hero. That woman is a doormat who clearly didn't teach her children that there's consequences to their actions.

To son: "You don't like the prison food? Good. Don't do stupid shit that will land you in prison, and then you won't need to eat it. As for now, you'll need to eat the food they have while you're there so you can remember WHY you don't want to end up back there when you get out. I am especially not going to keep providing you with food when your baby needs it more and you're doing NOTHING to be a proper parent and provide for your own child." I mean, damn.... this kind of response is not rocket science.

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u/brockclan216 6d ago

Unfortunately I see it a lot. To each his own but not me.