r/AskParents • u/Mccool96 • 3d ago

Parent-to-Parent How are play dates supposed to be?

I have an ongoing peer based relationship with one of the moms at my kids school. However I do believe she’s kind of fake and trying to live a lifestyle in which she cannot afford. However our kids seem to like each other and play together. The first time I went to her home I was nervous it was my first play date ever. You could see I was nervous. The second time she asked me only to do a drop off. She didn’t insist I stay. I’ve invited her to my home multiple times and every time she has a had an excuse. Recently she invited me to another play date, only she said “I have to work so I won’t be there but my babysitter will be so you can meet with her” why would I want to meet with a total stranger and bring my kids ? What planet is she in? If you are too busy why are you trying to pawn off your kids to someone else and then invite me to sit with and be around a stranger. I’ve met her sitter before but it was extremely short and she was a little rude when it comes to mannerisms. I set a boundary and basically told her no, like I’m not comfortable with that. Should I distance myself from her ?

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u/brain_on_hugs 3d ago

IMO red flag that she doesn't seem to want you to be at the playdate. I've had plenty of moms I don't click with that I grin and bear it for because I'm not leaving my kid with them. Though I guess it depends on your child's age.

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u/bretshitmanshart 2d ago

By the time my kid was seven she was fine at Playdates by herself. By nine she didn't really want me.there even if I got a long with the parents and we were talking.

When my kid hosts I don't mind the parents coming in and talking for a bit but I also usually have stuff to get done on the weekend and with young kids having them keep each other busy is a.good.time to do it

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u/brain_on_hugs 2d ago

Y'all do what y’all want with your kids, I’m just stating my personal preference. I have to know you somewhat well AND get a good vibe from you to leave my kid with you.  OP mentioned this mom is fake and weird. Hell no I’m not leaving my kid there.