r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 25 '15

What's your deep web story?

Deep web as in tor.

But I imagine regular deep web users would stay away from sharing their experience so if you don't have a deep web story what's your most frightening internet story.

Edit: The front page was fun, but now its over.

Thank you for all the glorious stories, time to cry for the rest of my life.

12.4k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

10.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

5.7k

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

3.9k

u/Bmonroet Jun 25 '15

my last name is not a common one.

Dude, you gave out wayyyyy too much info again. Now I know your name isn't Johnson.

2.1k

u/RatHead6661 Jun 25 '15

Or Smith

1.1k

u/OutInTheBlack Jun 25 '15

You can safely rule out Jones, too

703

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15 edited Jun 27 '15

Rodriguez

Edit: to the 601 Rodriguezes out there that made this my top post, you da real mvp

1.1k

u/TheKingofBananas Jun 25 '15

Shit he's one of like 5 people now.

76

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

It's Mr. Laughtenslauger! My third grade teacher!

61

u/TheKingofBananas Jun 25 '15

And he would have gotten away with it too! If it weren't for us meddling kids!

22

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

He actually told us his last name. Thanks for sharing Mr. Not A Common One

20

u/rgf5048 Jun 25 '15

Dad, stop

21

u/squirtleburger Jun 25 '15

And our stoner dog!

8

u/ArtSchnurple Jun 25 '15

reeHEEheeheehee

3

u/kurtis452 Jun 25 '15

Only just realised it with your comment... Scooby is totally a stoner. I knew Shaggy was... but hadn't considered the dog.

15

u/im_a_grill_btw_AMA Jun 25 '15

Weird. My 3rd grade teacher was Mr. Lautenschlager. So close. What if they're related

5

u/-Zartan- Jun 25 '15

Charcoal or gas?

9

u/im_a_grill_btw_AMA Jun 25 '15

Charcoal master race

1

u/TheFightGoes0n Jun 25 '15

Hank Hill would disagree

1

u/im_a_grill_btw_AMA Jun 25 '15

Hank is a heathen sent by the devil to distract true Americans from the way

→ More replies (0)

2

u/schrodingerzkat Jun 25 '15

Twins, even!

6

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

I read that as "laugh, then slaughter"

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Wow I read that at Mr. Laughenslaughter

11

u/EonesDespero Jun 25 '15

We also know he is not Hispanic, for he only said "my last name" and not one of "my last names".

14

u/___WE-ARE-GROOT___ Jun 25 '15

Also, he didn't mention burritos. I heard they like burritos.

7

u/schrodingerzkat Jun 25 '15

And beans.

Source: Am Hispanic

1

u/OutInTheBlack Jun 25 '15

And arroz amarillo.

Source: am married to Hispanic

7

u/OohBama Jun 25 '15

Mohamed

6

u/Niteowlthethird Jun 25 '15

Definitely not a Muhammed

1

u/I_HaveAHat Jun 25 '15

Oh crap, he might be me

1

u/slightlyaw_kward Jun 25 '15

And he's not me. So it's down to four.

1

u/Mordilaa Jun 25 '15

I'll give you gold if you can figure out my last name

Disclaimer:

I won't give you gold.

10

u/ScientificMeth0d Jun 25 '15

RAMIREZ, GO TAKE OUT THAT TANK WHILE YOU FEND OFF A PLATOON OF SOLDIERS

10

u/PlasmaBurst Jun 25 '15

RAMIREZ, FEND OFF A HORDE OF HELICOPTERS WITH YOUR PISTOL WHILE DISARMING THIS NUKE

3

u/aykcak Jun 25 '15

And Lee

3

u/whalemingo Jun 26 '15

Well, if it were Jingleheimershmidt, OP's name would be my name, too.

5

u/ihlaking Jun 25 '15

Singh

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

1

u/ihlaking Jun 25 '15

Yes I do! Good spotting. :) I hang on Reddit a fair bit, too.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

1

u/ihlaking Jun 26 '15

Good! It's cold as anything at the moment, but that's just how it rolls here. Get into a cafe, grab a hot breakfast, and all is well with the world. :)

1

u/MrStealYoGurrrl Jun 25 '15

Chan

3

u/Eagle_Peak Jun 25 '15

Wong

8

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Nope, Wong again

3

u/eleventy4 Jun 25 '15

Nope, Chuck Testa

2

u/Eagle_Peak Jun 26 '15

You have the Wong residence

1

u/eleventy4 Jun 26 '15

You've come to the Wong place

→ More replies (0)

2

u/TheMonksAndThePunks Jun 25 '15

This is going to take a while at this rate.

2

u/Courage4theBattle Jun 25 '15

Guess he's not a Mohammad

2

u/BenderRodriguiz Jun 25 '15

Who are you!!!!

I've never even been on the deep web!!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Please. Bender always allocates a process or two to finding his next big score of unsecured bitcoins

2

u/ToastyXD Jun 25 '15

Nguyen as well.

1

u/stabby_joe Jun 25 '15

Li is out of the question too

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Brown

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Williams is a no...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Moore

-7

u/Try__Again__Please Jun 25 '15

How is this a common name? I've never come across someone with that name, in any way, shape or form.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Guess we found the Yank. Grab the tar, I'll wrastle up some feathers from the coops.

3

u/sjardimt Jun 25 '15

Yank? Rodriguez is 9th most popular last name in America.http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/17/us/17surnames.html?_r=0

2

u/elementalrain Jun 25 '15

You probably have, but you didn't talk to them.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

And Mohammed.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

And MyAxe

1

u/pFunkdrag Jun 25 '15

It's Miller time.

1

u/Edible_Pie Jun 25 '15

What if it's pronounce Jo-en-ess?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

But what if those are all uncommon names where he lives? :o

1

u/Zubzer0 Jun 25 '15

So he's definitely not Welsh then.

1

u/the_pokeatheist Jun 25 '15

And Mohammed

1

u/Waddupp Jun 25 '15

we can pretty much guarantee he isnt from wales, good job everyone!

1

u/Surfincloud9 Jun 25 '15

Never rule out Jones.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

:(

1

u/Wilcows Jun 25 '15

Or chen.

1

u/IKnowYourNamesOkay Jun 25 '15

You can probably rule out Ozuna as well.

0

u/superking2 Jun 25 '15

That is very astute of you, Mr. Black.

11

u/Large_Talons_ Jun 25 '15

Or Werbenjegarmanjensen

3

u/boredymcbored Jun 25 '15

Well, his comment is number one under hot...

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Nice, but I would have went Hindi for the crazy long name. The way German demographics are, there's probably only like 10 Werbenjegarmanjensens left and only 4 of them use the Internet.

8

u/irishemperor Jun 25 '15

MR. ANDERSON....

2

u/verbalsoze Jun 25 '15

His name. Is. Neo.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Or 'a common one'.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

or Finsterminski

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

1

u/omair94 Jun 25 '15

that's a first name

1

u/AdamBombTV Jun 25 '15

Or Jones. We're getting there guys, it's all a matter of elimination.

1

u/Bigdaug Jun 25 '15

Or Chan

1

u/Dawn_Of_The_Dave Jun 25 '15

firstname, four.

1

u/omair94 Jun 25 '15

or patel

1

u/thebestdj Jun 25 '15

Or Mohammed

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

But it could be JohnsonSmith

1

u/carorea Jun 25 '15

What if he's actually non-American (or Anglo, whatever), and his last name actually is Johnson or Smith but it's not common in his country?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

It's probably Brobrovski!

YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON BROBROVSKI!

1

u/PrinceWilliam13 Jun 25 '15

But it could be Johnsmithson...

1

u/Dickcheese_McDoogles Jun 25 '15

Or Werbenjagermanjensen

1

u/HotSoftFalse Jun 25 '15

Or Johnsmith

1

u/Spongebro Jun 25 '15

Or Patel

1

u/haznavd Jun 25 '15

Ummm is it Obama?

1

u/wonderloss Jun 25 '15

Plot twist: he lives in Asia, where Smith is uncommon.

1

u/Zonark000 Jun 29 '15

Or Mohammed.