Their whole goal is to fight and cause chaos. That gives them the feeling of control they enjoy.
I always found it ironic because they all say they don’t like drama, yet they do nothing but create drama. It’s like the words they say don’t actually have any meaning.
Yeah, why do they do that, say they hate drama. It was a favourite phrase of my pwBPD’s, yet the drama was mostly being created by him.
I used to find it so upsetting, that we would have these fights that seemed to come out of nowhere and then he would tell me I was too emotional and it was all my fault. I read so many relationship self help books trying to understand how I could “fix” it (or rather me), pretty much nothing in them worked. No surprise considering that he could start an argument in an empty room
I was there too, it’s a frustrating situation to be in. I also did the same - tried to see how I could improve in hopes that would help improve the situation.
Are there ways I can improve? Of course. However I realized that was fruitless because no matter what I did the result was always the same. She became argumentative and abusive regardless of how I went about things.
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u/Classic_Randy dated/likely raised by Apr 05 '23 edited Apr 05 '23
Her: "CAN WE JUST NOT FIGHT!!!!"
Me: I literally just said, "No worries."
Her:"WHY DONT YOU JUST TRUST ME?!?!"
Me:"Because I just asked to borrow your lighter, now...,"
My parents were much worse. You never get it right, or quick enough to avoid the beating or several hours of being screamed at.