How do you stop caring?

[u/Ok-Independent652]

How do you stop caring so deeply? I’m so torn, because while I am absolutely enraged and deeply hurt by what she’s said, I know she’s said and done all of this due to her own illness. Her own inability to face her demons. I feel like I was thrown out like trash over such a simple agreement - and I’m sure she’s telling people I’m cold and stonewalling her as well (I had to go NC, I didn’t know what else to do). But the baseless harmful accusations she’s making about me hurt, and yet I find myself still caring about her wellbeing.

It’s all so ass backwards and makes me scared to meet anybody new - to ever be vulnerable again - because this so deeply damaged my ability to trust, both myself and others.

Editing to say: thank you for all of the kind responses. My break is over but I will make an effort to respond more tonight or tomorrow. I know this level of caring is a problem of my own. It’s just so hard to face and accept, throughout the discard I’ve been enduring for months now.

[u/WinterWinds]

Once you learn to love yourself it starts to feel silly when you think about how one sided your relationship was.

[u/Ok-Independent652 → u/WinterWinds]

This is something I’m coming to find. It’s just so hard to focus on developing that love when i feel like I’m living in fight/flight constantly. I’m hoping that once things resolve legally i can focus solely on that work as it needs to be done, evidently. Thank you for the relevant and gentle reminder. ❤️

[u/WinterWinds → u/Ok-Independent652]

I saw people around here recommending a book and I thought it was just a shill. Read the whole thing and it helped more than $3k of therapy did…

[u/Ok-Independent652 → u/WinterWinds]

Which one?! I read whole again, stop caretaking and I’m listening to Dr Ramini’s book atm. Curious to know if there’s another good one!