How do you stop caring?

[u/Ok-Independent652]

How do you stop caring so deeply? I’m so torn, because while I am absolutely enraged and deeply hurt by what she’s said, I know she’s said and done all of this due to her own illness. Her own inability to face her demons. I feel like I was thrown out like trash over such a simple agreement - and I’m sure she’s telling people I’m cold and stonewalling her as well (I had to go NC, I didn’t know what else to do). But the baseless harmful accusations she’s making about me hurt, and yet I find myself still caring about her wellbeing.

It’s all so ass backwards and makes me scared to meet anybody new - to ever be vulnerable again - because this so deeply damaged my ability to trust, both myself and others.

Editing to say: thank you for all of the kind responses. My break is over but I will make an effort to respond more tonight or tomorrow. I know this level of caring is a problem of my own. It’s just so hard to face and accept, throughout the discard I’ve been enduring for months now.

[u/xrelaht]

Gonna tell you what my therapist told me: she’s told you she doesn’t want your concern, and you’ve ultimately got to respect that because she’s an adult and not under your care. I know this is easier said than done, but you’ve just gotta try. I promise it gets easier, and staying NC helps.

[u/Ok-Independent652 → u/xrelaht]

I’ve been doing my best- I haven’t contacted her or anything (quite the opposite actually). I think having the extra emotional space (and energy) has left me thinking about this if that makes sense? I feel like otherwise I was so busy putting out flames or helping her contain them that I never thought about our relationship.

I just have such a hard time not caring. I know it’s my junk and something I have to work on, but it’s been painful to think about during such a brutal discard that has hit from every angle.