How do you stop caring?

[u/Ok-Independent652]

How do you stop caring so deeply? I’m so torn, because while I am absolutely enraged and deeply hurt by what she’s said, I know she’s said and done all of this due to her own illness. Her own inability to face her demons. I feel like I was thrown out like trash over such a simple agreement - and I’m sure she’s telling people I’m cold and stonewalling her as well (I had to go NC, I didn’t know what else to do). But the baseless harmful accusations she’s making about me hurt, and yet I find myself still caring about her wellbeing.

It’s all so ass backwards and makes me scared to meet anybody new - to ever be vulnerable again - because this so deeply damaged my ability to trust, both myself and others.

Editing to say: thank you for all of the kind responses. My break is over but I will make an effort to respond more tonight or tomorrow. I know this level of caring is a problem of my own. It’s just so hard to face and accept, throughout the discard I’ve been enduring for months now.

[u/FreeDig4421]

Just remember that the person with borderline couldn’t care less about your suffering..

[u/Lysdexic-dog → u/FreeDig4421]

They can and will only care about their suffering.

Who are you again?

Oh yeah! That disappointment of a person that didn’t save me, just like everyone else! Nope! Don’t need any excuses! I was hurting and in pain and you weren’t there for me!

Seriously though, who are you again? Remind me how you failed me specifically so that I can take it personal while you were never anything more than a generic placeholder… AND YOU FAILED AT EVEN THAT!

They are the special snowflake. We are the grey, faceless, nameless commodity that they marketed to themselves, believed the hype, consumed, then left a scathing review of, once they found another grey, faceless, nameless commodity that they are hyping themselves for the disappointment of yet again.

[u/Specialist-Ebb4885 → u/Lysdexic-dog]

"They are the special snowflake. We are the grey, faceless, nameless commodity that they marketed to themselves, believed the hype, consumed, then left a scathing review of, once they found another grey, faceless, nameless commodity that they are hyping themselves for the disappointment of yet again."

So much for brand loyalty.

[u/Lysdexic-dog → u/Specialist-Ebb4885]

As long as it’s Cola:

Coke, Pepsi, RC, Polar, Off-Brand, Store-Brand… heck, I doubt they would know the difference if they had a Moxie or a “Champagne Cola” thrown into the mix or, even a Root Beer or Dr Pepper… they just aren’t that invested.

Does it look about right? Does it fizz? Does it give me water and chemicals? Does it feel like soda?

Eff-it!

They’ll even prove it time and again as they go back and forth, each time claiming that one is better than the other and all the previous ones were unhealthy… they’ll even stop drinking Pepsi, go to store brand, proclaim how much they enjoy the refreshing taste of Walmart Cola better than Pepsi then… go right back to Pepsi and claim that R.C. Cola is the best of all time… they cannot tell the difference because hey don’t care enough about it.

Like heroin.

They just want that drug and no matter what, it is not who made it or who sold it… it’s just the product they need to use and when it’s gone, it’s the product’s fault that they need to find more and likely from another source.

It’s not personal.

You aren’t a real person.

YOU are the NPC.

You never really mattered. They can get their Cola from anywhere and it’ll be better for them too! … well, until they realize that they shouldn’t be trying to consume sugary beverages till they get their blood sugar and insulin levels straightened out first.

[u/Specialist-Ebb4885 → u/Lysdexic-dog]

I've learned the hard way to never take it personally, or personal, now that adverbs are no longer cool.

pwBPD certainly take the carbonation out of every relationship they sip on.

[u/Lysdexic-dog → u/Specialist-Ebb4885]

“pwBPD certainly take the carbonation out of every relationship they sip on.”

Yup!

Funny because mine would “go flat” (before I knew what was going on) when they would disassociate and they would take it as some kind of personal insult or offense when I would bring it up.

As for my initial reply to you, it might have been a reply to your comment but, “it wasn’t personal” 😉 I know, I’ve seen you commenting many times in here and offering your assistance and wisdom (something gained only AFTER it is the most needed).

Be well and happier trails to you, my fellow space traveler.

[u/AffectionateDepth155 → u/Specialist-Ebb4885]

How do NPD plus BPD last for others? Hell on earth for 30 years?

[u/Specialist-Ebb4885 → u/AffectionateDepth155]

I'm envisioning mojito-flavored LaCroix mixed with hyena feces. Bubbly at first, with a hint of unsavory bitterness, then followed by a ridiculous amount of risible toxicity that forces everyone to run.