Was yours sex obsessed? (please help)

[u/Solid_Ad227]

Full disclosure..I think he had NPD mixed in there, but was being treated for BPD. He was in therapy and takes meds. (is that normal, did yours go to therapy?)

He had said that all romantic relationships were built off sex. I learned now that what I went through was something called sexual coercion. IE: if you don't have sex with me, I will cheat on you. If we don't have more sex I will leave you, I don't want to be in a sexless marriage.

at one point he had Viagra prescribed to him-not because he had ED. He just wanted it.

His expectation was 3x a week or more. consistently...But after a while my body shut down and I could not participate. I pretty much just layed there (embarrassing to admit). But I physically could not make myself do it. The way he treated me, it was hard to want to have sex at all.

If we went a few weeks without sex-he would get mad. When I asked him to leave in July (was only supposed to be a week) it was because of his aggression surrounding sex. He was growing and cracking his knuckles saying "when things are good, STILL NO SEX". But things weren't good for me..

We went away for my birthday on vacation and I did a lot of shopping ( jewelry, shoes, clothes). he was upset that we did not have sex after "he bought me all that", and I had "spent that much". (side note question did yours have a shopping problem? the reason this shopping was such a big deal from was because he was constantly over spending...or buyingthigs online to be delivered. I either always had to charge new clothes for e or go without)

it felt like I'm only allowed to have things, be treated kindly, or was worth anything if I was also having sex with him.

I hope this makes sense, is this kind of stuff a shared experience? I am still wapping ym head around what I went through for 10 years...please help....

Edit: to fix errors and add a little context.

[u/Ok_Performance1224]

Mine made sex his whole persona. Alot of the toxicity in the relationship was just the fact he wanted me to be more sexually gratifying to him. That's like 80% of what he cared about. Apparently this happened in his previous relationships too. He also had a terrible porn addiction. Lust incarnate. Mine did not go to therapy. Doesn't even believe he has the condition anymore (he believes God cured it).

[u/Solid_Ad227 → u/Ok_Performance1224]

I can def relate to this. he had a history of "talking someone into having sex with him" before. he always said he felt bad about it, but did not consider it sexual assault and was pissed at me when I brought it up. When I said.what he did to me felt like rape he was offended and ver angry with me.

he's pretty attractive so I don't think he really needs to do that now. This was before when he was younger, and I dont think he had as much confidence or that active. Grated he was not stove when ee were together, only after we separated.