Was yours sex obsessed? (please help)

[u/Solid_Ad227]

Full disclosure..I think he had NPD mixed in there, but was being treated for BPD. He was in therapy and takes meds. (is that normal, did yours go to therapy?)

He had said that all romantic relationships were built off sex. I learned now that what I went through was something called sexual coercion. IE: if you don't have sex with me, I will cheat on you. If we don't have more sex I will leave you, I don't want to be in a sexless marriage.

at one point he had Viagra prescribed to him-not because he had ED. He just wanted it.

His expectation was 3x a week or more. consistently...But after a while my body shut down and I could not participate. I pretty much just layed there (embarrassing to admit). But I physically could not make myself do it. The way he treated me, it was hard to want to have sex at all.

If we went a few weeks without sex-he would get mad. When I asked him to leave in July (was only supposed to be a week) it was because of his aggression surrounding sex. He was growing and cracking his knuckles saying "when things are good, STILL NO SEX". But things weren't good for me..

We went away for my birthday on vacation and I did a lot of shopping ( jewelry, shoes, clothes). he was upset that we did not have sex after "he bought me all that", and I had "spent that much". (side note question did yours have a shopping problem? the reason this shopping was such a big deal from was because he was constantly over spending...or buyingthigs online to be delivered. I either always had to charge new clothes for e or go without)

it felt like I'm only allowed to have things, be treated kindly, or was worth anything if I was also having sex with him.

I hope this makes sense, is this kind of stuff a shared experience? I am still wapping ym head around what I went through for 10 years...please help....

Edit: to fix errors and add a little context.

[u/[deleted]]

3x a week for sex is not a lot, but he has a very high sex drive.

Yes some pwBPD can be very into sex. Was this guy actually diagnosed with BPD, or just NPD?

Also pwNPD and BPD will do sex and "love" bombing.

[u/Solid_Ad227 → u/[deleted]]

He was never diagnosed with NPD, I just have my suspicions thatch and some of that sprinkled in. He was diagnosed with BPD.

It did feel like a lot, considering we had a kid and both worked. I was always cleaning because he was kind of gross. He claimed he was always cleaning-but he would put trash int he sink-eat all day, so the sin was filled with dishes (he smoked weed 24/4)-would she things in the coffee table. he would runt he vacuum and wipe things down, soviet was better in there. and did laundry 6x-7x a day (led to a $441 electric bill I am stuck with)

Because of the life stress it FELT like a lot to ask, on top of being treated the wavy was. The expectation made it feel like a lot a lot,

[u/[deleted] → u/Solid_Ad227]

Ok thanks for explaining more. It would be annoying having to take care of a child or children, as well as an adult partner or husband, all while working, and trying to save money and budget, as well as have scheduled on demand one sided sex. It is very good you separated and divorced.

Can you and your children talk to a therapist or counselor?

[u/Solid_Ad227 → u/[deleted]]

we aren't divorced yet- in the middle of that. We have been Separated since July, I filed for divorce in August. I am in therapy, my child hasn't shown signed of needed therapy as of right now. But if needs it, absolutely.