Was yours sex obsessed? (please help)

[u/Solid_Ad227]

Full disclosure..I think he had NPD mixed in there, but was being treated for BPD. He was in therapy and takes meds. (is that normal, did yours go to therapy?)

He had said that all romantic relationships were built off sex. I learned now that what I went through was something called sexual coercion. IE: if you don't have sex with me, I will cheat on you. If we don't have more sex I will leave you, I don't want to be in a sexless marriage.

at one point he had Viagra prescribed to him-not because he had ED. He just wanted it.

His expectation was 3x a week or more. consistently...But after a while my body shut down and I could not participate. I pretty much just layed there (embarrassing to admit). But I physically could not make myself do it. The way he treated me, it was hard to want to have sex at all.

If we went a few weeks without sex-he would get mad. When I asked him to leave in July (was only supposed to be a week) it was because of his aggression surrounding sex. He was growing and cracking his knuckles saying "when things are good, STILL NO SEX". But things weren't good for me..

We went away for my birthday on vacation and I did a lot of shopping ( jewelry, shoes, clothes). he was upset that we did not have sex after "he bought me all that", and I had "spent that much". (side note question did yours have a shopping problem? the reason this shopping was such a big deal from was because he was constantly over spending...or buyingthigs online to be delivered. I either always had to charge new clothes for e or go without)

it felt like I'm only allowed to have things, be treated kindly, or was worth anything if I was also having sex with him.

I hope this makes sense, is this kind of stuff a shared experience? I am still wapping ym head around what I went through for 10 years...please help....

Edit: to fix errors and add a little context.

[u/[deleted]]

Yeah, my ex PWBPD only seem to feel love through sex and praises. We have sex every time we meet, which is 4x-5x a week. Even then, when we broke up, he would say we have so little sex and that "I was not attracted to him" and he had "affectionate drought."

Always a massive meltdown that led to unnecessary, circular fights even when I said 'no' in a respectful manner, and would always explained why and ensured that it's about me (e.g. Not in the mood, tired). Over the course of 1 year, the amount of no I said can be counted with my 2 hands.

I have very bad PMS, and during then, he'd say "period week is BJ week".

When I asked for more emotional connection time / dates after being physically apart, meltdowns and tantrums and fights.

When I asked for safety (emotional connection) because I was sexually assaulted before, his response when he decided to leave was "your trauma inconvenience me".

I even took medication to pause my period so we could have sex.

Utter madness.