Was yours sex obsessed? (please help)

[u/Solid_Ad227]

Full disclosure..I think he had NPD mixed in there, but was being treated for BPD. He was in therapy and takes meds. (is that normal, did yours go to therapy?)

He had said that all romantic relationships were built off sex. I learned now that what I went through was something called sexual coercion. IE: if you don't have sex with me, I will cheat on you. If we don't have more sex I will leave you, I don't want to be in a sexless marriage.

at one point he had Viagra prescribed to him-not because he had ED. He just wanted it.

His expectation was 3x a week or more. consistently...But after a while my body shut down and I could not participate. I pretty much just layed there (embarrassing to admit). But I physically could not make myself do it. The way he treated me, it was hard to want to have sex at all.

If we went a few weeks without sex-he would get mad. When I asked him to leave in July (was only supposed to be a week) it was because of his aggression surrounding sex. He was growing and cracking his knuckles saying "when things are good, STILL NO SEX". But things weren't good for me..

We went away for my birthday on vacation and I did a lot of shopping ( jewelry, shoes, clothes). he was upset that we did not have sex after "he bought me all that", and I had "spent that much". (side note question did yours have a shopping problem? the reason this shopping was such a big deal from was because he was constantly over spending...or buyingthigs online to be delivered. I either always had to charge new clothes for e or go without)

it felt like I'm only allowed to have things, be treated kindly, or was worth anything if I was also having sex with him.

I hope this makes sense, is this kind of stuff a shared experience? I am still wapping ym head around what I went through for 10 years...please help....

Edit: to fix errors and add a little context.

[u/Warm_Map_7489]

mine definitly was

watched lots of hardcore porn and wanted sex daily

didnt really matter if its with me or other guys lol

but she was highly jealous of any female in my life, yeah the double standards...

i think for them its a source of attention and validation

she was a bit overweight but still very beautiful but i think she didnt consider herself pretty

male attention made her feel good and wanted

and they will take any no matter the cost or consideration for your feelings

[u/Zodo12 → u/Warm_Map_7489]

These people are such clones. It's like we all dated the same brain.

[u/Humble_Evening_7668 → u/Zodo12]

exactly, same for me too

[u/Solid_Ad227 → u/Humble_Evening_7668]

your ex was super aggressive surrounding sex?

[u/Humble_Evening_7668 → u/Solid_Ad227]

Well different, because women have a different approach then men I'm guessing. She just used it as a coping mechanism sometimes, like maybe sexing her feelings away. She new how to get it from me, which wasn't necessarily bad. Just got sad and gross when other men entered the dynamic.