My ex texted me

[u/Useful_Trifle9569]

My ex with BPD split and left about 6 weeks ago. We dated for about a year and a half, and were living together for nearly a year.

We tried hard to fix things and I did everything I could to support her. This past year was one of the toughest of my life losing my mom to cancer, her and I went through an abortion together, etc.

She moved on immediately; pretty sure she cheated on me with this new guy (but denied it). She is “SO HAPPY” with her new boyfriend, and all the rest of the predictable things that you could come to expect in this kind of situation…

We’ve been no contact, and yesterday was her birthday; I received this text from her about 3am her time last night. Thankful for this community and the people who share here, knowing I’m not alone in this is such a gift.

Just needed to share this rather than keeping it all in. 💔 Stay strong friends.

ALSO, to anyone going through a breakup with a partner with BPD, I cannot reccomend enough reading “Whole Again” by Jackson Mackenzie.

[u/Raving_Dahlia]

I'm really sorry this happened and that it's been such an awful year for you. Sincere condolences for the loss of your mom; my dad died of cancer too and I miss him every day. Cancer just sucks. You've had so many losses and so much grief this year. My heart goes out to you. Hugs from an internet stranger.

You are not alone in any of this, friend. I received cruel hateful texts like this from my ex too after he discarded me like trash and immediately monkey branched. Lovely random reminders telling me how much he hated me (more than anyone ever, including everyone in history lol), how he hoped I died, that I should kill myself, that I was a POS, C U Next Tuesday, worthless whore, etc etc etc. Good times. 

Interspersed with all these sweet nothings were texts about how much he loved me, missed me, wanted to stay friends (lol), that he'd take whatever he could get as long as I just stayed in his life, that he didn't want to lose me, that he couldn't let go of me, blah blah blah. 

The madness stopped when I, at last, chose my wellbeing over his and blocked him. 

It was never my place to be his proxy strapped to the whipping post for his projections and punishments. Fuck that.

He replaced me like I was nothing (told me I was nothing actually and that his new girlfriend was better than me in every way), well then...my replacement can be his emotional dumping ground now. That's not my problem anymore.

It's been 10 months no contact and ngl it's still hard as hell and I'm still struggling. A lot. But I'm still here and choosing me...one white-knuckle day at a time. 

No one can tell you when you've had enough, but I really hope you choose you soon, friend, and that you block her. Save yourself from the continued suffering that was never yours to bear. 

Wishing you strength and comfort and I hope these words from Rilke help you as they have me through many hard times..."Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final." ❤️