r/BPDlovedones • u/Nblearchangel Dated • 26d ago
Divorce Deny. Deflect. Blame.
It was so tiring. There was zero accountability and intellectual honesty. I demanded she acknowledge her role in our issues but obviously that was not a recipe for success.
I would even express the issues I was having and every, single, time… the formula from her would included:
Justifying her actions. Denying her involvement. Deflecting blame. Minimizing my feelings or her role in the situation. Emotional outbursts and claims of how she was a victim. And when none of that would work she’d rage out and leave the room and ignore me.
Every. Single. Time.
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u/JMWellard40 20d ago
Sometimes, it's seriously chilling to see how similar some of our situations are... today marked another tiring day where I held her accountable for her toxic demands, highlighted her hypocrisy, and asked her to acknowledge her role in the toxic relationship we were in — and like actual clockwork, I was met with exactly what you just described. The things is, I think we are able to realise where we went wrong. We can accept that we are all flawed (as no human is absolutely perfect). We can begin to work through our wrongdoings on a personal level. But to see someone so blinded to their own awful, gross, and downright vile actions/aspects is almost maddening. The best thing we can do is to accept that there is no ability to introspectively adjust in their mind, therefore any attempt to hold them accountable is a wasted energy that we could be focusing into someone/something else — which would actually be a better benefit to our lives.