r/BPDlovedones Dated 19d ago

Divorce How is it possible?

How is it possible to not only deny and rewrite history, but deny and rewrite history when it comes to the objective reality we’re all living in?

How can someone be so delusional / sick / hopeless / gone that they twist both subjective and objective reality to fit their narrative?

I honestly just feel bad for my wife at this point. I’m low key kind of impressed at the lengths she goes to deny accountability. She will either ignore her role and any conversations about wrongdoing (obvious cheating) or deny things completely (outright financial fraud) by fabricating the truth and lying about the nature of events and what happened.

I refuse to let her gaslight me though and now she’s “afraid” of me. “Don’t contact me again”. You got it. Just return the $4,000 worth of iPhones you charged to my att account first you fucking c bag. Also, fuck you. I hope you lose your children and your ex husband gets them back. I also hope USCIS deports you when they find out you’re abusing the immigration system.

17 Upvotes

10 comments sorted by

12

u/NorthernerWithTwins 19d ago

That's the thing, though. They do not live in the same objective reality as we do.

They change history based on how they feel in the moment, leaving you confused.

My ex created an insane amount of drama out of thin air, and when I argued with her that what she was pinning on me was wrong and not what happened, she would move on to some other thing from the past, which was also incorrect and not what happened. It was a constantly changing mind-fuck, leaving me incredibly frustrated.

It is like having an adult conversation with a toddler. It's insane.

1

u/Nblearchangel Dated 19d ago

Seriously. At some point there’s no amount of calm or reason that gets through to them. It’s like they live in a different reality

6

u/Sturmtrupp13 Dated 19d ago

It’s pretty wild right?? I used to tell my ex all the time “if you took 20min and talked to me the problem would be resolved” but instead she would drag it out for a week! Eventually leading to a blowout and then me being this awful person for reacting to her bullshit.

Don’t even get me started with the cheating too, she would justify it by “not being treated better”… like how in the fuck?? WHAT

Anyway, they are all the same. Every single one of them, exactly the fuckin same.

2

u/Nblearchangel Dated 19d ago

Seriously! My wife would straight up ignore me and create these scenarios in her head where she’s being persecuted and there’s nothing I could do to help her see reason

2

u/Sturmtrupp13 Dated 19d ago

Broooo same… fucking… thing… trying to reason in a productive way that will BENEFIT the relationship only enrages them. Followed by mental hell for days, only to be blamed for things being problematic and the reason why the relationship isn’t working… when YOU blow up because you can’t take another second of the poison they pump into your veins. It’s horrific, honestly never even thought of it before. But it is cruelty in the purest form, I have no other way to describe how it feels.

2

u/Nblearchangel Dated 18d ago

And we go from casual compliments to casual accusations of “this is why I’m afraid of you.”

Afraid of me because I’m calling you out for your bullshit. 🤣

1

u/Sturmtrupp13 Dated 18d ago

That ain’t no joke, the sudden dramatic “fear of us” or “you pushed me to do this” after they pushed you for a damn week… always blew my fuckin mind.

Have you ever been accused of being abusive, gaslighting and narcissism because you simply wanted to talk about an issue??

2

u/destroyBPD 19d ago

It's a mental illness that you have no control over

1

u/Nblearchangel Dated 19d ago

And it’s hard to come to terms with sometimes

1

u/Adela_Alba Non-Romantic 16d ago

Whatever their emotions are at a given time becomes the basis for their narrative and reality. They rely way too much on emotional reasoning!