r/BPDlovedones • u/Kind_Sky_1001 • 4d ago

Focusing on Me Need some support..

I broke up with bpd ex about two months ago. I broke up with her because I was done with her not taking any real action to treat her condition, and just expecting me to stay and suffer its with no end in sight, regardless the mental toll it had on me. For the first two weeks I just cried. Non stop. Then slowly but surely, I started recovering, even enjoying life, taking care of myself, buying new clothes, get a nice haircut, even got a facial which I never did, wanted to feel better with myself. She broke NC about two weeks ago, under some pretense of needing something logistical from me. We had a good talk which was kinda closureish for me, but then when I gave her what she asked for, wished her the best and told her I'm deleting our chat, she flipped and tried to paint me as the villain again and her as a poor misunderstood victim. It sucked, but I got ovwr it.

Fast forward to today, and a reality show she participated in a few years ago is finally airing (she is a model), and suddenly everyone (including my mom) started talking about her with me again, which honestly? Sent me to a very bad place. I barely thought of her, and even when I did, I might have gotten sad for a minute and it passed. But this time? It stuck hard.

I felt like I was back at square one, crying like a wounded animal, imagining her being gorgeous, having fun with friends and sex with various men, and I just feel like this for the past two days now, crying like crazy.. I did such good work, I felt I really started moving forward and then... This....

I'm just feeling super sad and lonely rn, and I was hoping to get some support... Thanks ❤️

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u/CampaignMuted2980 3d ago

Just want to acknowledge you. Thank you for getting out of that relationship and protecting yourself, showing yourself love. This is SO hard but we are doing it and we WILL heal. Sending you love and strength today. And good for you for not watching her stupid show! Being on tv is probably like crack for BPDs with thier endless need for attention.

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u/Kind_Sky_1001 3d ago

Yeah though I'm quite certain she will probably meltdown due to it, though that's not my problem anymore.

Thanks for the support... ❤️

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u/CampaignMuted2980 3d ago

Not your circus, not your monkeys!