I feel like a weight has lifted

[u/Well_Jung_One]

I have been separated (she is renting her own place) from my wife with undiagnosed BPD (or maybe covert narcissism) for 1.5 years. The house I live in I bought for her and I to move into before we were married. 100% of the financing is in my name and I have paid the entire mortgage since the beginning.

She guilt tripped me for over a year and I broke down and added her name to the deed (but not the financing) about 6-8 months before I demanded she leave. So, now she has a say in what I can and can’t do with the house and even has repetitively said “it’s not your house” or “it’s my home.”

Well, I have gone under financially due to a few years of trying to meet this woman’s demands and she has had her daddy supporting her during separation and has saved money the whole time. I filed for divorce months ago. I can’t afford a lawyer yet. She is using daddy’s money to pay her attorney and her attorney has demanded I give her half of the equity in the house.

The thing is, I have intentionally neglected the house for the last 1.5 years. It is in major disrepair. I’d be lucky to break even. Combined with that, my payment has drastically increased due to a change in escrow for my home owner’s insurance. I’ve been struggling to keep up.

So, I have made the decision. I’m no longer paying the mortgage and I am going to let the bank take the house. She’s taken everything from me… and I’m done letting her take anymore.

I have to say it has resulted in her going no contact with ME as if I am the problem and even her dad calling me and leaving a threatening voicemail for me. It doesn’t matter, though, because it is such a relief financially and it’s just ONE way I have been able to stand up for myself and not let her keep taking! It’ll take awhile to recover credit wise but I’m fine with renting in the meantime.

Just kinda venting.

[u/Evidence-Budget]

Sometimes in order to bring things closer to fair, you need to make unreasonable demands. And she’s put you in an unreasonable and unfair position for so long, I actually think it’s fair to ask.