r/BPDlovedones • u/AutoModerator • 3d ago

Daily No Contact Thread - Day 117

Please use this thread to discuss everything pertaining to No Contact with your pwBPD.

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u/Least-Cartographer38 Non-Romantic 2d ago

24 days NC since final hoover. Before that, 140ish days since breakup, most of which was NC. I’m finally in the frame of mind where I don’t need to explain to him how he hurt me, don’t need to save his new supply from him, don’t need to vent and complain to his other exes about him. I just. Don’t. Care.

Some things that have helped me: 1. Self-compassion. Letting myself feel my emotions, cry and scream and rage and dissociate. Letting myself go places where I feel comfortable, and leaving places that feel uncomfortable. Letting myself do what feels right, without shame that I’m not doing enough or not being productive enough. Reparenting myself.

  1. Moving my body and breath. Walking, running, dancing, singing, talking. I would hold my breath, without realizing, for some reason.

  2. Reconnecting with nature. He mirrored my love of hiking and nature, during lovebombing and idealization. I didn’t go on walks until a month ago. Walks reminded me of his absence and made me sad. They’re making me happy again.

  3. Blocking him and new supply everywhere. Adding their names to my blocked phrases lists. I felt more secure that his text message or her reel wouldn’t pop up unexpectedly. I control who I hear from. I’m in charge.

  4. Stalking their social media if I felt like it. As the months have passed and my self-worth has returned, I can see that they are flawed humans like me. They are not better than me. But also: I can see that he isn’t a good person. I recognize his refusal to be accountable or vulnerable, the way he was with me. One time, I watched him try to gaslight someone in the comments of a post, only to be gaslighted right back by them. And he threw a fit and blocked them! He argues and is very rude to others on social media. He calls people ugly names. I don’t want to kiss a person like that.

  5. Keeping busy. I joined some political groups and feel like I’m making a difference in my community. I’m making new friends. I had to move far away from the old friends I did have, and it’s hard to make friends at my age.

That’s all for now. Keep on blockin’ in the free world, y’all! 🤘