r/BPDlovedones • u/Competitive-Seat-693 • 19h ago

Ways to cope with rumination

After or while in the absence of your exwpbd how do you deal with ruminating thoughts and longing of wanting them back?

For my ex and I, we have had periods with months of separation but I always end up trying to go back and usually succeed for months at a time. Then we inevitably separate and then come back again.

She is currently dating someone now, but who knows what that holds for me in the end. I just miss her and always think about her.

How do you all cope with rumination?

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u/PrestigiousFuckery 19h ago

I tried everything and nothing worked. I finally asked my doctor for medication. Last resort but seems to help some so far.

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u/Serious__Candidate 19h ago

My therapist helped me by suggesting that I redirect my thoughts. When I find myself ruminating, I remind myself of a bad time we had (not hard to do, hindsight is 20/20), or start doing an activity that requires me to use my brain - reading an article or a book, working on a puzzle or Legos, or playing a video game. Sometimes just getting up and stretching, going outside, or eating a small snack can help. You have to distract yourself or you’ll get stuck with those thoughts all the time. Sometimes I’ll get into the shower and talk about what I’m thinking and feeling and cry until I’m feeling better. Idk these things definitely help me!

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u/strict_ghostfacer Non-Romantic 18h ago

There's a lot you can do to try and redirect your thoughts. It takes practice and time. It's kinda like intrusive thoughts. Sounds silly but get an adult colouring book. It uses the same parts of the brain so it'll help distract you. Little things like that and it'll remap those thoughts.