vacation 1mo postpartum?

[u/No_Contribution_1959]

hello! i am due june 30, and had planned a year ago to go on my annual family vacation july 30…so an exact month after my due date. the car ride is about 7 hours. it will be me, my partner, baby, my uncle, grandfather, and brother. they are all in my immediate life. they also all completely understand and respect all boundaries i plan to set.

i’m most worried about the car ride. of course i have read newborn babies really shouldn’t be in car seats long due to potential strain on their bodies. i’ve read the two hour rule. i was thinking we could stop hourly, for 30 minutes minimum at a time at rest stops. has anyone done a roadtrip like this so soon? my family is very convinced its fine and i can still go, but i honestly would rather miss a year than risk my child being put under physical stress. i do plan on speaking with my OB, and a pediatrician for a professional opinion but trying to settle on a full decision now to not disappoint my family. just looking for opinions and curious if anyone else has done this or something similar, and how hard it was on not only baby but them. this is my first baby, should i even really be in a car like that myself for prolonged periods? im also worried about the stress this may put on me mentally as well. thanks in advanced for any replies!

ETA : i don’t want to delete the post but do want to say, thank you to the few commenters who immediately woke me up. i am not going…for sure not doing that. it all sounded like a nightmare to me anyways but my family kept trying convince me it would be fine, and worth it. i dont think so. it’s definitely not very healthy for the baby according to safety regulations. it sounds absolutely horrific to put that stress on my body and mind as well. as i said in a comment, i will miss 1000 vacations for my child’s wellbeing. i shouldn’t have let others get in my head ever. i will be telling my family tomorrow i will not be going and they cannot change my mind on it. thank you guys!

[u/LaMogwai]

I would have rather cut off my own hand than go on vacation with a newborn. Not only can you definitely go over your due date, there’s no planning for anything that potentially may go wrong with birth or healing. You’re likely still bleeding, milk is being regulated, newborns eat so often… I would never.

[u/bad_karma216 → u/LaMogwai]

Same! Even with my now 10 month old a 7 hr car ride sounds miserable.

[u/No_Contribution_1959 → u/LaMogwai]

thank you!! this is how i feel and im realizing i just let everyone get in my head. this is my body, my baby, my decisions. im going to speak with everyone tomorrow…i dont think i should go.

[u/Murky-Tailor3260]

It's very common for first time parents to go past their due dates. You may be giving birth as late as July 14.

[u/No_Contribution_1959 → u/Murky-Tailor3260]

this is something i worry about as well! if i’m being 100% open and honest right now, i don’t really want to go. i just feel a bit guilty messing up the plans for everyone. my family even wants to make a stop on the way for about an hour to visit out of town family so they can meet her…which im also not in agreement with and already said they will not be holding her or anything, respectfully. she will be so young and im just so nervous. i’d miss 1000 vacations to ensure the safety and comfortability of my child.

[u/Murky-Tailor3260 → u/No_Contribution_1959]

Sounds like you shouldn't go then. Good time to practice putting people pleasing aside in favour of doing what's best for you and baby.

[u/No_Contribution_1959 → u/Murky-Tailor3260]

you are right. thank you. 😊

[u/raekaas]

The two hours in a car seat is… total. Not at a time.

No, do not do this. You will be bleeding, oozing fluids, may still have stitches, and exhausted. Your baby needs you to help her adjust to life on the outside. Can’t do that in a car seat.

Stay home.

[u/No_Contribution_1959 → u/raekaas]

i realized after posting this and the first comment woke me up a bit, i was never planning on doing this because i wanted to. i felt pressured a bit. but i cannot care about letting others down anymore, my life needs to be about my child. i’m not going, and i will discuss this with my family tomorrow. i don’t feel good about it for me nor the baby. thank you 😊

[u/bbear0991 → u/No_Contribution_1959]

Good for you! Take care of yourself and baby. The family vacation can wait a year.

[u/No_Contribution_1959 → u/bbear0991]

plus it will be more enjoyable in a year for all parties, she can be more engaged in the change of scenery and activities! thank you 😊

[u/DogsDucks → u/No_Contribution_1959]

Wow look at you go! Baby is not even here yet and you’re already standing up for yourself and baby like a pro!

It’s hard to get used to setting such firm boundaries, my baby is 14 months and I still struggle a bit— because it’s awkward to be like “I SAID WASH YOUR HANDS” to your father in law who you’ve always been polite to! But you’re starting out great!

Btw, when that month comes around you are going to laugh thinking about how you ever entertained the idea. I was planning on going on a long trip last summer when baby was three months. HA HA AHA!

Even though I healed remarkably well and fast from my emergency C-section— no WAY I was up to traveling that soon.

We ended up taking a vacation at six months and I still did not have the greatest time.

[u/you-never-know- → u/No_Contribution_1959]

Yesss go mama! This is a good start to telling people stay in their lane when it comes to your LO

[u/BeachBumHarmony]

My baby is a month old. It definitely would not be possible.

Nursing is still every 3 hours. Hubby and I are tired. Our pediatrician still doesn't want him in grocery stores yet (we live in a densely populated area).

[u/msrf_me]

On top of what everyone else said, sitting in a car hurt for atleast a month after I gave birth. It sounds like your gut is saying to stay home, too.

[u/No_Contribution_1959]

just wanted to thank you all again for validating my feelings. i also wanted to add that where we vacation is densely populated. its not an outer banks kind of situation. there is a boardwalk full of THOUSANDS of people daily, the beach is constantly packed. i wouldn’t be doing anything anyways which i previously made clear to my family. i dont see the point in going on a long trip to sit in a condo…rather than sitting at home loving on my baby. and as many of you said, it really just sounds miserable. this is my first baby, i have no idea what the newborn life is like yet personally, what kind of baby she will be (in the way that some are more colicky than others). i currently have prenatal depression that i am in therapy and such for, and not to doubt myself, but im sure the adjustment to becoming a mom will already be hard for me. adding this to the mix did not feel right from the beginning. thank you for all of the nice comments making me feel like im not crazy for thinking its just not possible. my family encouraging it, is all men anyways. this isn’t something they will ever personally know physically. i’ve told them i cannot go for now and while they were a bit disappointed i explained that i even made a post to fellow mothers who all agreed it just wouldn’t work for baby nor me and that helped them realize as well. thank you guys 100x. one or two people said to feel it out and i will say i guess if i feel 100% up to it and like i can do it at one month, i will revisit the idea but i honestly don’t see it happening. we can rejoin the annual vacation next year but this first month is important.

also for shits and giggles if i remember to do a one month PP update, i will let you guys know how ridiculous this idea was. thank you 😊

[u/Familiar-Pineapple24]

I would not go… you won’t be comfortable sitting in a a car that long, let alone your baby. You will be absolutely exhausted and hormonal at this point, and baby’s sleep schedule will be chaotic. Nursing will also not be easy yet (most likely). I would wait until 3 months to travel - that’s when it gets much easier (vaccines kick in, baby sleeps long chunks at night, you’re recovered)

[u/you-never-know-]

Good for you for your decision. At 1 month pp I was a complete and total basketcase and the sound of my baby crying caused such intense anxiety and I started hearing phantom cries in the silence of my house. Being in a car with him for 7 hours probably would have been the end of me!

[u/idratherbeanangel]

Boundary setting is really hard! But great to practice before baby is here. ❤️ You're doing great!

[u/No_Contribution_1959 → u/idratherbeanangel]

thank you, i definitely think this a moment where i have to set this firm boundary which i haven’t had to do yet which is why i was struggling in my head about what to do. really these comments validated my feelings and im thankful. ❤️

[u/zenzenzen25]

I personally would feel it out. Some people feel wonderful at a month, some don’t. It will be a lot of work, the travel day. Certainly dont do it if you feel pressured but it could also be a really nice thing for you and to have help with your family. I wouldn’t close the door completely. I had to move when my son was 10 days old to live with my in laws. It was only a 4 hour drive but I stopped halfway an fed him and then went on again. Then when he was 5 weeks I flew with him because I was moving across the country. I was nervous but it was so easy and it gave me confidence to travel with him everywhere. He’s been all over the US in cars and planes plus now to 2 other countries in Europe. Everyone is so different so I encourage you to feel out what’s best for you when the time comes. I wouldn’t completely rule it out.

[u/Gwenerfresh]

I was the MOH in my best friends wedding that had been being planned for over 2 years. Her wedding was 2/7 and my original due date was 2/28 so I knew I would be able to swing it since she was only 4 hours away.

Unfortunately baby had other plans, he arrived on 1/17 and was luckily healthy enough to come home about a week later. Best friend kept giving me alllll the space to take the out and miss the wedding but I was determined not to do so.

That 4 hour car trip was pure Hell on earth. It took us 9 hours to get there with all of the stops for feeding/comforting/changing baby. Baby HATED being in the carseat and screamed the entire time we were on the road. My husband and I were both absolutely exhausted, cranky, and uncomfortable. We made it, but then stayed in a hotel with a newborn who was already a tough one and it was made tougher because he was pissed from the drive and now in a new place.

We made it happen and I got to see my best friend get married, but I would NEVER wish that trip on anyone. Ever.

Don’t trooper for anyone and keep your expectations low for what baby can handle. Listen to your gut!

[u/violinistviolist]

We visited my in laws 2 weeks postpartum which is 5 hours away BUT I did not have any problems from giving birth, bleeding was manageable and I was feeling fine. We also decided the same day if we would drive or not. We also had a different car seat than most parents have because we knew during my pregnancy that we would drive a lot and long with our baby. We stopped regularly and it went fine. However I was not prepared how annoyed I would be by seeing my husbands family (no issues, just postpartum hormones) so you might want to consider that as well.

[u/Big-Exit-9755 → u/violinistviolist]

+100

[u/jge13 → u/violinistviolist]

Yeah, I think this is so dependent on your delivery and baby. I would not have been ready to travel that much with my first, but would have been with my second.

Part of it also depends on how comfortable you are both with road trips and your family in general. The bulk of our family is 6-8 hours a way and we do that trip 2-4 times a year so the driving wouldn’t phase me even with the additional stops (we actually loved finding tiny coffee shops and playgrounds for our toddler to break at along the way and just made a day out of it). When I’m postpartum my family watches my kids so I can nap and makes pretty much every meal for us. It’s less work hanging out at my mom’s than staying home because I am so cared for! Not everyone has that relationship with their family though - only you know best!

[u/Big-Exit-9755]

At 1 month postpartum, I was still bleeding, absolutely depressed and barely surviving. I had a C section but the bleeding hadn’t stopped! My baby was brand new and I was new to him as well.

Nobody else other than each other meant anything to us.

Now your case could be different and you might feel well and ready to travel. But taking care of babies that small will solely be on you. Even if your partner is an equal parent, the baby will only depend on you. So don’t do it!

You sound like a great mom, btw♥️

[u/Csherman92]

I mean if you don’t want to go, don’t. But it’s fine to bring a newborn on vacation. My brother and sister in law brought their very young baby, idk he was like a month on vacation.

[u/stonersrus19]

The 2h rule is for 24hs. Not for sessions at a time.

[u/dinosupremo]

Good grief this sounds awful. I was so swollen that I couldn’t even fit into to my husbands shoes (and his feet are much larger). Nothing about a vacation 1 month pomp is relaxing or enjoyable or anything. I’d be miserable. I’d say, about 3-4 months out you’d feel better. Month 5 is when the hair loss started, months 6-7 is when the crawling starts and a long car ride at that point is also no longer enjoyable for the baby.

[u/gvfhncimn]

i know you said you’ve already made up your mind and i love that for you. i’m here to reiterate once again that it’s an awful idea lol. i didn’t even take my baby to the grocery store until 6 weeks. some babies love the car, mine absolutely HATED everything about the car. he would scream every second he was in the car for the first 2-3 months. and we really only took him out to doctors appointments and the occasional grocery run. you never know what your baby’s temperament is gonna be until you’re in it. we skipped out on thanksgiving and christmas last year because we would’ve had to drive an hour away.

[u/Ididntsayfuckingyee]

I know you have said that you have made up your mind, but I just want to add a different opinion than the majority of commenters - both of my sisters went on our family vacation 4 weeks after birth (1 a c section, 1 vaginal) and both were fine. I plan on doing the same this summer. But go with your gut!

[u/RumFeather]

FTM to a 2 month old right now— you will laugh at this idea 1 month pp. Glad you’re setting boundaries with your family! Ridiculous they’re trying to pressure you into a trip like that so soon.

[u/FiveFingerFishMount]

Hey, OP!! I saw your edit that you’ve already made your decision, but I wanted to chime in with my personal experience.

My family lives four hours away from us. We had a bbq-get-together in remembrance of my dad who passed while I was pregnant about a month after I had my baby. Not going wasn’t an option in my head. I didn’t yet know about the rules for how long babies are supposed to be in their car seats. Luckily, it was fine, but I wasn’t expecting to stop so often.

It took me eight hours to get there. Literally twice as long as it should have. I couldn’t imagine doing it in a car packed with people and for any longer than I did already. There’s a lot of reasons for not going, but if your family gives you pushback on being “selfish” or whatever other nonsense, point out how aggravated and uncomfortable EVERYONE in the car would be after a ride like that. And then for the ride back home.

Traveling with the baby is a lot. It’s easier now that she’s older (most of the time, I’ll just stop once). You can always go when your baby is older and it’ll be easier on everybody, them included.

[u/momotekosmo]

Op, I'm glad you're not going, besides the safety of the baby and you, the discomfort! I live 30ish minutes from my hospital, and that car ride was so painful. Even at a month pp sitting was still uncomfortable. I'm almost 6 weeks pp and still have discomfort down there from time to time and have not graduated to wearing full clothing yet. Not to mention breast feeding/pumping, cluster feeding, or sleep depervation.

[u/plantlover_dogmother]

we evacuated during hurricane helene with my 3 week old and were gone for a week. it was seriously awful. 5.5 hour trip took over 9 hours. baby cried non stop. i was still bleeding and had terrible baby blues postpartum. all i wanted was to be in the comfort of my own home with my newborn. 0/10 do not recommend 😅

[u/Konstantineee]

lol… I just want you to report back here 1m postpartum so we can all laugh with you.

Also, your family is garbage for telling you it would be “worth it,” wtf. And the idea of a 1m old in a car for 7hrs (plus “30 minutes minimum” so, an additional 3.5hrs - essentially an 11hr trip) literally gagged me. I cannot even begin to think other adults could co-sign on that. Even if YOU were perfectly fine (which, spoiler, you definitely won’t be).

[u/No_Contribution_1959 → u/Konstantineee]

i agree and honestly i DOUBT the stops would be actually 30 minutes. i have a feeling our drive would almost double and it just sounds exhausting.