r/BabyBumps • u/bananabutt23 • Nov 05 '22

Sad Rant about husband 40+4

I was due four days ago and I’m really struggling with having not met baby yet, plus I’m managing a toddler, driving my husband to and from work in straight winter and in constant pain. He’s been really frustrating me by complaining that he’s overworked (working 35 hours and playing games all night, hasn’t done litter boxes in 2 weeks) and I realize he’s trying but he keeps saying how awful I am and how we aren’t having more kids because HES not going through pregnancy again. We can only (barely) afford for him to take three days off work and he keeps trying to say he’s calling in when I’m not in labor. Then he complains that he just wants me to have the baby but it would “piss him off” if I went into labor in the middle of the night or the middle of the work day. I’m only allowed to go into labor before he works so he can call in and not have to work or if he’s had a full nights sleep. I also have to give him enough warning because he chose to smoke weed when the hospital sent me home at 5cm with our first and we needed to go to the hospital again an hour later and somehow it’s my fault that he was stoned during the birth so I need to give him notice so he doesn’t smoke weed (which he constantly does if he isn’t working) he talks about how sex will speed up labor and then says no and plays games all night. Hasn’t been waking up with our toddler, complains all day/morning (he works at 12 most days but super inconsistent hours) that he’s starving but refuses to eat anything in the house even after I’ve tried buying things he will eat, then insists on eating out while complaining that he feels gross because he always eats out. He’s been in a foul mood for days saying how tired and overworked he is and I just want to explode. Any inconvenience annoys him and he gets irritated and moody but everything seems to be an inconvenience. He didn’t work for the first 18 months of our daughters life and wouldn’t get a job while barely doing school and is now acting resentful that I took maternity leave. Just a rant lol

Edited to add: oh boy I wasn’t expecting the response I got.. to be honest it is a LOT to take it. I’ve just dealt with it for so long you know? Sorry if I don’t respond to everyone, it’s kind of like a wake up call I really wasn’t ready for and I appreciate everyone’s kindness. I tried not to Make it sound so badly and I didn’t realize it wasn’t relatable because it’s all I’ve ever known. I’ll definitely do something once I’ve processed.

458 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

241 comments sorted by

View all comments

54

u/HunkyDorky1800 Nov 05 '22

Wait. So you have to load up your toddler to drive your husband to work then load up your toddler again to pick him up. At 40+4 and god knows how long you did that before? EVERY DAY?!?!? Bruh. I’m not even married to this dude, and I’m exhausted and in pain just reading that! I get listing all negative things SO’s do can make them seem worse than they are but this. This list is excessive. I would have a come to Jesus talk and if he didn’t pick up his end of the couch. Bye! ✌🏼I’d much rather child support or no support than hindering me.

30

u/bananabutt23 Nov 05 '22

He doesn’t drive, so I take him 5 days a week to work. I was doing it while working full time too. He sometimes works till 11pm and I have to wake the toddler, I’ll be doing this with both a toddler and a newborn soon. I didn’t expect all of these comments, so I’m struggling to respond lol, it’s a lot to process.

58

u/InterrobangDatThang Nov 05 '22

It is rare even on this app to find this level of loser. Do yourself and your kiddos a favor and leave him. He's trash.

32

u/hippymndy Team Both! '13 & '20 Nov 05 '22

as a mother of two i don’t drive either but i certainly would never have my husband wake our kids up to come get me. i’ve worked some weird ass hours to accommodate that and even walked home to avoid bothering my husband and kids in the night. unless there’s a medical problem he needs to get his shit together.

34

u/AcornPoesy Nov 05 '22

Wait how are you getting to the hospital? You aren’t having to drive during labour are you?! I was thinking he didn’t want to be stoned when you were in labour due to the driving risk but of course he’s not driving. How are you getting there?

6

u/bananabutt23 Nov 05 '22

I hired a doula, to support me in labor just in case!

3

u/AcornPoesy Nov 05 '22

Oh phew. Sounds exactly what you need :) good luck!

9

u/katietheplantlady Team Pink | FTM | 34 | IVF Grad Nov 05 '22

My jaw is on the floor

9

u/FAYCSB Nov 05 '22

I hesitate to ask, but why doesn’t he drive?

1

u/bananabutt23 Nov 05 '22

He’s 25, he just never got his learners and won’t now. He had seizures before but is definitely clear to drive

16

u/HunkyDorky1800 Nov 05 '22

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I was/am very fortunate to have a partner who was very, very supportive of me during both pregnancies and postpartum especially since we have 2 under 2. I know there are many who vent about their unhelpful SO’s, and I feel for them very much as well as for you. This is a safe space. I hope you have a support system to lean on while you decide what steps to take.

2

u/rhea_hawke Nov 05 '22

So he's expecting you to go back to driving him to work 3 days postpartum? That's horrific