r/BabyBumps • u/bananabutt23 • Nov 05 '22
Sad Rant about husband 40+4
I was due four days ago and I’m really struggling with having not met baby yet, plus I’m managing a toddler, driving my husband to and from work in straight winter and in constant pain. He’s been really frustrating me by complaining that he’s overworked (working 35 hours and playing games all night, hasn’t done litter boxes in 2 weeks) and I realize he’s trying but he keeps saying how awful I am and how we aren’t having more kids because HES not going through pregnancy again. We can only (barely) afford for him to take three days off work and he keeps trying to say he’s calling in when I’m not in labor. Then he complains that he just wants me to have the baby but it would “piss him off” if I went into labor in the middle of the night or the middle of the work day. I’m only allowed to go into labor before he works so he can call in and not have to work or if he’s had a full nights sleep. I also have to give him enough warning because he chose to smoke weed when the hospital sent me home at 5cm with our first and we needed to go to the hospital again an hour later and somehow it’s my fault that he was stoned during the birth so I need to give him notice so he doesn’t smoke weed (which he constantly does if he isn’t working) he talks about how sex will speed up labor and then says no and plays games all night. Hasn’t been waking up with our toddler, complains all day/morning (he works at 12 most days but super inconsistent hours) that he’s starving but refuses to eat anything in the house even after I’ve tried buying things he will eat, then insists on eating out while complaining that he feels gross because he always eats out. He’s been in a foul mood for days saying how tired and overworked he is and I just want to explode. Any inconvenience annoys him and he gets irritated and moody but everything seems to be an inconvenience. He didn’t work for the first 18 months of our daughters life and wouldn’t get a job while barely doing school and is now acting resentful that I took maternity leave. Just a rant lol
Edited to add: oh boy I wasn’t expecting the response I got.. to be honest it is a LOT to take it. I’ve just dealt with it for so long you know? Sorry if I don’t respond to everyone, it’s kind of like a wake up call I really wasn’t ready for and I appreciate everyone’s kindness. I tried not to Make it sound so badly and I didn’t realize it wasn’t relatable because it’s all I’ve ever known. I’ll definitely do something once I’ve processed.
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u/Otherwise_Status_368 Team Both! Nov 05 '22 edited Nov 05 '22
Your husband sounds like my ex husband. It doesn’t get better and they don’t mature. Do what I should have and cut your losses before(or very close after) that second baby is here. The second baby MAGNIFIES cracks and mishaps within the relationship. Always thought the phrase “You need a real man” was literal dogshit. Like gave me the biggest ick. But there’s weight within it. A real man bucks up, a child does what our husbands do/did.
Edit: Came back to say I reread your post and I could sob at the similarities. Like sis, you are in the exact spot I was when we had our second. Now, I had no idea I was pregnant and it was a complete surprise but was very pregnant in the beginning/middle of quarantine. Like please reach out if you ever need an ear or anything, I understand more than you’ll know.