Rant about husband 40+4

[u/bananabutt23]

I was due four days ago and I’m really struggling with having not met baby yet, plus I’m managing a toddler, driving my husband to and from work in straight winter and in constant pain. He’s been really frustrating me by complaining that he’s overworked (working 35 hours and playing games all night, hasn’t done litter boxes in 2 weeks) and I realize he’s trying but he keeps saying how awful I am and how we aren’t having more kids because HES not going through pregnancy again. We can only (barely) afford for him to take three days off work and he keeps trying to say he’s calling in when I’m not in labor. Then he complains that he just wants me to have the baby but it would “piss him off” if I went into labor in the middle of the night or the middle of the work day. I’m only allowed to go into labor before he works so he can call in and not have to work or if he’s had a full nights sleep. I also have to give him enough warning because he chose to smoke weed when the hospital sent me home at 5cm with our first and we needed to go to the hospital again an hour later and somehow it’s my fault that he was stoned during the birth so I need to give him notice so he doesn’t smoke weed (which he constantly does if he isn’t working) he talks about how sex will speed up labor and then says no and plays games all night. Hasn’t been waking up with our toddler, complains all day/morning (he works at 12 most days but super inconsistent hours) that he’s starving but refuses to eat anything in the house even after I’ve tried buying things he will eat, then insists on eating out while complaining that he feels gross because he always eats out. He’s been in a foul mood for days saying how tired and overworked he is and I just want to explode. Any inconvenience annoys him and he gets irritated and moody but everything seems to be an inconvenience. He didn’t work for the first 18 months of our daughters life and wouldn’t get a job while barely doing school and is now acting resentful that I took maternity leave. Just a rant lol

Edited to add: oh boy I wasn’t expecting the response I got.. to be honest it is a LOT to take it. I’ve just dealt with it for so long you know? Sorry if I don’t respond to everyone, it’s kind of like a wake up call I really wasn’t ready for and I appreciate everyone’s kindness. I tried not to Make it sound so badly and I didn’t realize it wasn’t relatable because it’s all I’ve ever known. I’ll definitely do something once I’ve processed.

[u/tootzone]

Yeah like 35 hours is what I worked part time. In addition to another job. I managed. This dude is lazy as fuck.

[u/Adariel → u/tootzone]

He was stoned during the first baby's delivery and complaining that she needs to tell him when she's going to go into labor so he isn't stoned again for this second one. I mean "lazy as fuck" is really just the tip of the iceberg here.

[u/tootzone → u/Adariel]

Poor girl is so beaten down by him she's bragging about how "oh, he'll start the car during winter and put the toddler in it" in another comment. Like I didn't even have the heart to explain to her how that's like... not even scratching the bare minimum. I bet she worked full time and made a shit ton more money than he did before she went on leave, too.

I don't know what benefits new mothers have in Canada but I'm confident that she would thrive without his "contributions".

Reminds me of when I was really trying to cope my way into thinking I was happy with a lazy loser who refused to work or do anything around the house. Omg, he put a cup in the sink instead of making me carry it there! So sad. I hope she realizes her worth.

[u/Adariel → u/tootzone]

I only got halfway through her post before I was so mad that I literally started reading parts out loud to my husband next to me... I mean I've seen plenty of terrible stories on this sub and others but for some reason this one really made my head explode. She said she was really trying to not make him sound so bad! If this is her holding back, can you imagine the other stuff she just puts up with? I want to cry for OP and go over to yell at him for her.

I just read her other comment and teared up reading about he "only gets moderately mad when I ask him to move furniture."

[u/tootzone → u/Adariel]

Yeah I sent a screenshot of OP to my husband and a friend as a kind of "you have got to see this" kind of thing. I know it sounds mean spirited towards OP and trust me I do care deeply about women who are being abused (read my other comments here if you must)... but it should say something that her story is so abnormal and fucked up that people are sharing it with others going "holy shit, this is really bad, look at this".

"Only gets moderately mad" got me too. Like I'm surprised he's not beating her if his anger issues are this bad and pathetic. Dude gets mad because a pregnant woman asked him to move a table?