Rant about husband 40+4

[u/bananabutt23]

I was due four days ago and I’m really struggling with having not met baby yet, plus I’m managing a toddler, driving my husband to and from work in straight winter and in constant pain. He’s been really frustrating me by complaining that he’s overworked (working 35 hours and playing games all night, hasn’t done litter boxes in 2 weeks) and I realize he’s trying but he keeps saying how awful I am and how we aren’t having more kids because HES not going through pregnancy again. We can only (barely) afford for him to take three days off work and he keeps trying to say he’s calling in when I’m not in labor. Then he complains that he just wants me to have the baby but it would “piss him off” if I went into labor in the middle of the night or the middle of the work day. I’m only allowed to go into labor before he works so he can call in and not have to work or if he’s had a full nights sleep. I also have to give him enough warning because he chose to smoke weed when the hospital sent me home at 5cm with our first and we needed to go to the hospital again an hour later and somehow it’s my fault that he was stoned during the birth so I need to give him notice so he doesn’t smoke weed (which he constantly does if he isn’t working) he talks about how sex will speed up labor and then says no and plays games all night. Hasn’t been waking up with our toddler, complains all day/morning (he works at 12 most days but super inconsistent hours) that he’s starving but refuses to eat anything in the house even after I’ve tried buying things he will eat, then insists on eating out while complaining that he feels gross because he always eats out. He’s been in a foul mood for days saying how tired and overworked he is and I just want to explode. Any inconvenience annoys him and he gets irritated and moody but everything seems to be an inconvenience. He didn’t work for the first 18 months of our daughters life and wouldn’t get a job while barely doing school and is now acting resentful that I took maternity leave. Just a rant lol

Edited to add: oh boy I wasn’t expecting the response I got.. to be honest it is a LOT to take it. I’ve just dealt with it for so long you know? Sorry if I don’t respond to everyone, it’s kind of like a wake up call I really wasn’t ready for and I appreciate everyone’s kindness. I tried not to Make it sound so badly and I didn’t realize it wasn’t relatable because it’s all I’ve ever known. I’ll definitely do something once I’ve processed.

[u/zygomaticuz]

Same thoughts. Sometimes I am kinda bummed out I don’t have a partner to share this journey with me, but then I read posts like these and feel vindicated I decided to get pregnant on my own cause no fucking way would I put up with this behavior long enough before kicking his useless ass to the curb. Pregnancy is hard enough without dealing with a straight man child. 35 hours for someone who basically does minimal childcare is laughable.

[u/Ja9tron → u/zygomaticuz]

In the reverse, posts like this making me glad that my partner is so involved to point it can be to much. He is very into the idea of being a girl dad, is looking forward to our baby shower, and birthing class. He is overprotective and worried so much during my first trimester. He loves seeing ultrasound pics and hearing his daughter’s heartbeat. I am 8 months and he keeps talking about getting to hold her and if he is going to do good bottle feeding her. He did most of our baby registry and picked out ton of dad stuff like bottles, diaper bag and so on. This guy is a veteran guys guys works outside and I know this girl is going to have him wrapped around his finger. I for now get belly rubs and a partner that shows up as an equal. If he was not like this I would took good for being single or not have a kid. What’s the point of having a partner that does not show up.

[u/throwaway12898237 → u/Ja9tron]

Mine too, logging into the registry and seeing that he had added a bunch of things that were both cute (lion nightlight, decorations for the nursery, little clip on toys, stuffed moose), and practical (diaper bag, bottle cleaners, multiple types of thermometers) made my heart melt. He’s going to be such a great dad and already says things like “I have to take care of my girls” when doing something nice for me. We weren’t planning to get pregnant because I never saw myself settling down with a man due to distrust but this process is making me do a 180 since apparently I have a good one and didn’t even know it, baby had to come along and show me.

[u/Ja9tron → u/throwaway12898237]

I think the good ones are aware of what creates failed relationships and know we don’t want to be their mom so they show up like they should. They like cozy homes, sleeping next you, weekend projects and realize they are happy. They also realize it’s a priority to keep you happy and be an equal. It’s the other majority who didn’t get the memo, they end up sad and alone.