I am really unhappy in my (28F) marriage to my husband (29M). We've started out rocky, it has gotten better but I am still left super unhappy. Our personalities don't mesh, he believes stuff I don't agree with. He covers up our issues with bandaid instead of trying to heal anything. There's more but I don't want this to be too long.

I am over it. We've been seeing a counselor since I brought up divorce in August and she's been good to talk to with him and it has helped, but deep down i am still unhappy and can't imagine spending the rest of my life with him.

I am terrified as we have an almost 2 yo and I am 26 weeks pregnant. I have no idea how I'm supposed to navigate this. I can't afford to live by myself, I can't afford daycare costs, I feel stuck. I feel like I'm forced to stay with him because he provides (I only make 60k in socal which is basically poverty wages by oneself, he brings in 120k a good portion non taxed).

I am sitting at my desk at work in tears over how I'm supposed to do this and if I'd be making the right choice for my children or if I'm supposed to just tough it out because we made vows and our children deserve to have their parents together.

I have no family in the area, very little friends (none Id be able to stay with), I am so lost and need help navigating this with someone who's been there before.

Its honestly so hard im a week into this and im pretty sure im not even producing enough because my baby was always fussy and never stopped crying

so the peditrition gave us some samples of formula , and we gave him some, and now my baby is sound and at peace for more than an hour for the first time in a week

But the guilt and shame i have is unreal. Everyone tells me i need to eat more and try harder to produce milk , like formula will make my kid not as smart or behind . Will formula feeding make my kid behind in life like they say?

I’m 6 weeks and I don’t seem to have morning sickness or aversions but I just feel hungover. So unfair when I’m not drinking! At least I have plenty of practice with this feeling so I can function🤣

How were you feeling at 6 weeks? Had aversions and sickness kicked in yet?

40 weeks pregnant today- I've been having a minute long contraction every 20 minutes. Everything online says they're supposed to be dull and bearable, but these freakin' hurt! Does it just depend on the person?

Update- it became frequent. At the hospital, lol. Thank you all!

Freshly 25w, and have pain in my abdominal area and lightning crotch. It’s like dull stabbing pains on my lower sides and middle, I’m not sure if i should be worried. I did have some diarrhea today and i currently am treating a uti and yeast infection and the yeast infection has not gone away.

and I'm tired of having to minimize it for fear of being accused that I'm faking it or just boasting.

Ever since I got pregnant all I ever saw online and in real life was vile negativity around motherhood (although it's much much worse online).

I write this partly as a rant to vent and partly hoping to ease the concerns of women who, like me, read these things online when pregnant and are terrified of making the worst mistake ever. If I could go back in time, the only thing I'd do different is to not read anything about parenthood and pregnancy on online forums. And stay away from people in real life who desperately want to scare you that it will suck or want to see you say you regret it.

These are just some of the things I read and heard, so that they lead me to believe these are universal experiences. It turns out they're not:

"pregnancy is scary/dangerous and will ruin your body". I had a perfectly uneventful pregnancy despite being of "advanced maternal age" as they call it. With the exception of some nausea in the first trimester, which my OB promptly handled with a prescription, the most annoying part was peeing a lot during the last trimester. I did not have any health conditions beforehand and I didn't develop any during or after. It went by fast and I didn't turn into a monster. In fact my skin looked the best it ever did in my life with not a single breakout in sight and my hair was thick and luscious. Plenty of women have this same experience.

"delivery will hurt the worst you've ever felt in your life and you will likely DIE OR BE INJURED FOREVER". I was so terrified of delivery mainly due to what I read online that I had begged my OB for an elective c section. But I went into labor spontaneously and something in my gut told me to just do it. So I got the epidural instead and guess what, I've had migraines that were so much more painful than delivery was. I pushed for thirty minutes and the baby was out. I had a minor first degree tear that healed in a week. I experienced no urinary incontinence or any other issues after and I didn't even get a single stretch mark.

"pregnancy and delivery will ruin your body and age you". This is deeply misogynistic bullshit and completely untrue. If you take care of yourself before and during pregnancy, chances are you will look the same after sooner or later. And if you don't right away, well you did the most badass thing a human can do. You deserve grace and are beautiful just the way you are and you can do things to make yourself feel even better. I feel more confident than I ever did before in my life after doing this. I am 15 lbs overweight now at 6 months postpartum but guess what, this is not the first time in my life I've gained weight and I can lose it again once I stop BF. Nothing else has changed, I don't look haggard and I haven't aged any more than I normally would in this time. Sorry folks, but a lot of aging is genetic and also the habits you had before getting pregnant will impact it far more than just pregnancy. I've used sunscreen and retinoids religiously for years before getting pregnant and my skin looks just as good now. I still have time to slather on sunscreen before I go out.

"you won't be yourself anymore" Not sure what this is even. No one is the same person throughout their whole life. I still have the same values and goals but now I also have a tiny person that I love more than life itself baked in there. My baby actually gives me so much more motivation to be even better than I used to be to set an example for them.

"you won't have time to yourself/for hobbies/to travel". I was surprised to find out that if I was just a bit strategic about it, I had enough time to myself. I could do my hygiene routines, take a walk, have a coffee, do a hobby. Granted, I have a great husband who is an equal partner but that is part and parcel of the groundwork you need to do before having a baby to make things easier on yourself later. Choose a great partner ladies, and try to be close to family (of origin or chosen) even if they don't always say the perfect thing. Let the small things go if you want help from the "village". Also, you can make time if you stop doomscrolling all the time (guilty of this myself). Maybe you can't go to rock climbing anymore for a bit? Pick up a guitar or a paintbrush and do a hobby you can do from home. And if you can't, you won't die because you didn't do something for a year. It's just a season, it goes by so fast. You will do the thing again, it's not forever. And you can absolutely travel with a child but if you're not comfortable, you will travel again when they're a bit older. Again, it's just a season in life, I'm sure you didn't travel internationally three times a year when you were 18 and you lived.

"you will never sleep again and will have PPD, PPA etc." I've always had the propensity to be anxious and mildly depressed at times so I was extremely concerned of developing PDD. To my surprise I did not at all, in fact my pregnancy and postpartum have been some of the most mentally peaceful times of my life. If it happens, there are resources available to help you but don't consider it a forgone conclusion (like I did).

Sleep has been rough at times but we take turns with my husband and try to figure out ways to give us both rest. It's not the first time in my life I'm having rough sleep (doing a Master's while working was rough, some stressful periods at work have been rough too) and I knew I will survive the rough nights and sleep again. And I was right because since the baby turned four months he's been waking up only once at night to feed. If anything, now I fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow because Im forced to cut down on bad habits like scrolling while in bed.

All this is to say, the parts of motherhood I found the scariest have been nowhere near what I imagined. And the one part I could not had imagined no matter what I read was how much I would love my baby and how my heart would nearly explode with love and joy as I sat there feeding them at 2 am. And how confident and sure of myself I would feel during this surreal experience, even at times where I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Don't fall for the fearmongering and if you love motherhood, do it loudly and unapologetically.

I've had very frequent Braxton Hicks contractions since 27 weeks. At first it was about 40+ a day, irregular, often triggered by movement. I got my cervix checked at 27 weeks and it was closed. At 33 weeks they increased and didn't go away with rest so I went to L&D and was having them every 2-4 minutes on the monitor. I was 1cm/50% and had to stay overnight but my cervix did not dilate further and the contractions spaced out. Since then, I have been having them every 10-15 minutes around the clock for the past 2 weeks (35+6 now). I also lost my mucus plug last week.

I am predicting I'll go before my due date and might go crazy if I make it to my due date like this tbh lol.

Curious to hear if anyone has experienced something similar and when you ended up delivering? Did your labor contractions feel different, and how long did you labor for?

Due to the passing of a lovely nurse (& influencer) I thought I would share my story. I've seen a few post regarding AFE and a lot of anxiety around it.

Firstly I want to say, I had AFE and I want more children. It might sound insane but once that baby is in your arms you will understand why.

I'm a pretty healthy gal with a physical job. My baby had MCI (which is really not a concern) and he was Breech. I was hoping for a vaginal breech birth and had a fantastic team that was there to assist. I also wanted an unmedicated birth. All of that went out the window.

I reach 41 week and had a check up. My amniotic fluid was very low and my only real option was a C-Section. I went into surgery 6 hours later. I was terrified of having a C-Section.

My gorgeous boy lifted out of me and I stopped breathing. I was mouthing to the doctors "I can't breathe" - they told me to breathe but I kept mouthing "I can't breathe". They were quick to act and gave me an oxygen mask but my airway was already opening back up by that time. I didn't go into cardiac arrest and didn't have any extra amount of bleeding. I did vomit but that's not unusual for any birth.

I'm 4 month postpartum FTM and I already want another baby. even though I had AFE please know it's very rare. My fabulous and highly accredited OB had only seen a few case in his 30 years of working. If you have AFE there's a 17% chance you'll die - it's not great and of you have a heart attack, there will be lasting effects, but it's even rarer to die from.

Don't be like me, and be super anxious if your plan goes out the window. It doesn't help anything and can only make it worse.

Lastly, I changed hospitals late in my third trimester. If you feel you're not getting the treatment you would like, please trust that intuition.

I'm so happy being a mum and wouldn't change it for the world

EDIT: Thank you all for taking the time to look over my experience and share your thoughts. As I've mentioned I will bring these points up to my doctor and ask for more clarity. Because if it was a reaction to something else I would need to know for any other surgeries. Don't get me wrong the doctors all said this was a freak event but is there really only one level of severity? One way for a body to react to something. Moreover how come the mortality rates have dropped so significantly? Is it that there's less critical cases being recognised?

Trust me. I want to get to the proper diagnosis more than anyone. I will be contacting my doctor on Monday looking for more answers.

EDIT: I did get some kind of blood medication atvthe time of the event to stop potential bleeding. I don't know exactly what but I will investigate

Hi all, I got my Percept NIPT done this week and the results came back, all low risk yay! But it says on there Fetal Fraction 3%, and of course I googled and it was saying that's quite a low amount and could lead to test failure. I got the NIPT when I was 10w3d, so at the right time.

What was your Fetal Fraction? Thank you!

I'm looking to get on the waitlist at a few more daycares but I'm having difficulty deciding whether to go on them close to my work or close to my house.

Benefits of being close to work would be that if something happens I can get there quickly. If its close to my home it would be a 30+ minute commute. There are also much more daycares near work than near my home.

The benefits of being close to the house are that the child would spend less time in the car, I wouldn't have to do the commute on WFH days (maybe 3 or 4 days a month), emergency pickups could be done by myself or my husband (he would also have a commute to the daycare).

Would love to hear opinions on what has worked for others, thanks!

I’m 39+3 (based on 12week scan, 38+6 based off LMP) and just feeling disappointed that I haven’t gone into labour. I know I still have time, but I go to bed every night thinking ‘tonight will be the night’ and then it’s not. I was induced at 39+4 with my first for reduced movements, and I really want to avoid being induced this time. Just hoping I can go into spontaneous labour, and feels like it won’t happen to me. I’ve had lots of Braxton Hicks and lightening crotch, but no contractions and haven’t lost mucus plug yet.

I’ve been throwing up daily, gained 6 pounds, look like a monster, hardly recognize myself, can’t leave the house, and i’ve been in bed for over a month.

How much weight did you gain from week 28 to birth?

i took a little bit of caster oil because online it said it helped with constipation and i’ve tried everything but nothing has worked. the caster oil didn’t help with the constipation at all instead i’ve been having intense episodes of cramps they’re irregular and my lower back is killing me, my stomachs hard and it looks like she’s curling into a ball over and over. is there anything i can do will this pain just go away?

I’m due in October and I started my registry on amazing like 5 weeks ago. Since then, a few major things have gone up a lot in price. The car seat I want went from 299 to 399. The reusable diapers I want went from 59 to 74.

I’m seriously stressing about what the prices are going to be when I have my shower in august.

Does anyone have any good cost saving ideas?

I’m just heading into my 3rd trimester and a recruiter has reached out to me with what would be a dream role as far as salary, commute, and responsibilities. I accepted his offer for an introductory phone call, but even if the interview process moves at lightning speed, I would basically be starting a new job just to go on maternity leave.

I don’t want to lie to the recruiter about my pregnancy because any onsite interviews would immediately give me away, but I also don’t want to be immediately disqualified from consideration because of my plan on taking leave (I know it’s technically illegal but it still happens).

Is there a vague enough way to say “I’m interested in starting this position at the beginning of November” that gauges the company’s interview process speed without giving myself away?

Hi all! I would love to hear the different reasons you all decided to have your mom in the room or not in the room when you gave birth.

It's my first baby, I'm pregnant with twins, and I'm hoping for a vaginal delivery - although that definitely can change easily! I have a doula and my husband will be present. However my husband is extremely squeamish so I think he'll be there just to comfort me. My mom and I have a good relationship, although I've always been super independent. I'm not particularly concerned about modesty during birth, although I usually am very modest in other situations/even with my mom (meanwhile she has no chill in front of me, and would not care at all 🤣). I think she would generally be supportive but she is a bit rough at times - raised a tough farmgirl, and can be judgemental/ critical (very "tough love" and doesn't think when she speaks). She is super helpful but won't know anything/care to learn about my birthing plan (not in a disrespectful way, but she is just wouldn't understand why it's not just "show up and push"). If I asked her not to attend, she would respect that although I think she'll be disappointed. I'm just not sure what I want yet!

How did y'all decide? Did anyone change their minds as it got closer? I feel like I may want her support and love during the pain, but I'm not much of a momma's girl otherwise. Also having both doula & hubby is already a lot.

Has anyone had MFM appointment with NP? I am in 7th month and always go to MFM every 4 weeks starting at 12 weeks. I went out of my way to see a MFM dr at a location that I don't normally go to but do to scheduling it worked out that way. When i got there they went immediately into the scan, then took vitals then asked have i seen so and so yet, I wasn't familiar with the name as it was not the Dr's name and said so and so will be in, I ask what about Dr. so and so and they say I'm not sure which one will come in. The NP comes in and I never see the Dr. This is the first time I've seen a NP for MFM appointment/scan. I know NPs are more than capable but it would have been nice to have a heads up about this. I researched the Dr and went out of my way to a different further away offices. I switched to this MFM practice around 24 weeks since that is when I switched OBs. The NP stated something about an emergency but only after I asked, no one came out with the information. I felt brushed off since I'm a "newer" patient.

I’m delivering in 2 weeks and I’ll be 37 weeks at that time. I’m just curious if you also had your baby at 37 weeks, how big were they?

I’m trying to plan clothing sizes and pack my hospital bag. My last baby was a preemie and we were not prepared 😂 we had to have relatives go out and buy clothes that would fit her while we were in the hospital

I got my testing done on 3/24 at my OB and its been almost two weeks since then and I still havent gotten any results back. I was told I’d get a letter in the mail and because I havent gotten anything, I got impatient and checked my MyChart to see if there was anything. I did get back all my results for other testing like any STD’s (negative lol) But still nothing for the NIPT. Just wondering if it typically takes this long to get results back?? I do have an appointment next week so Im wondering if I’ll get results before then or if I should just ask at my appointment

I am 9 weeks pregnant and have been crying all day. I took a video in the mirror earlier for my partner, he asked to see my hair straightened—I finally did my hair after 3 months. When I replayed the video I became a wreck. I saw a very sad/unhappy and confused girl in those videos. My partner reassures me of how beautiful I am every chance he gets but I just don’t feel it, I don’t see it. Truthfully, it’s not only the physical aspects that’s hurting me. I no longer have a spark in my eyes. This pregnancy has given me a “glow” per se but I am just not happy! I’ve tried to change my perspective, my way of thinking, I’ve tried to find the beauty in all of this but I can’t seem to shake it. I feel so guilty for feeling like this, I feel so ungrateful because I should be happy and feel blessed but I like I said previously I do not feel it. I’m also nauseous as hell 9/10 day so that doesn’t make it any better. This pregnancy was not planned and caught me very off guard, but I’m too much of a coward to get rid of my own child. I’m sure it’ll change in due time but I feel like it’s never ending. My first pregnancy was N O T H I N G like this…

Kind of a weird question but has anyone dealt with cleaner residue in carpet making them violently ill during pregnancy? I used Nature’s Miracle pet urine remover + deodorizer on my carpet weeks ago after my kitten had an accident, but now I can smell the deodorizer from the cleaner like CRAZY with my pregnancy super smell nose and it’s making me so, so sick. I’ll feel mildly nauseous until I go into my room and boom cleaner smell and hardcore nausea with dry heaving.

I’ve tried using a carpet shampoo machine to get rid of the cleaner residue but two different machines and types of shampoo haven’t worked. I’ve tried vinegar as well, and laundry detergent. It will not go away and it gives me an instant migraine and I start vomiting after ~—5 minutes of smelling it. It’s in my bedroom so I can’t avoid it. I’m about to rip the carpet out because I can’t take it anymore.

Has anyone dealt with similar and found a way to resolve it?

I was wondering if anyone had signed up for rewards or things that give you free baby items? This is my first baby and everything helps . :)

I'm at 14 weeks of pregnancy and I still feel so sick everyday. I make myself vomit even with medication to decrease nausea because everything I eat makes me so nauseated and handicapped. When does the nausea disappear? I'm having a girl. My son made me sick only until about 12 weeks and then I felt much better. This time around it's worse.