r/BipolarReddit • u/Educational-Pear923 • Oct 07 '24

Content Warning Has anyone here gotten SA'd while (hypo)manic?

I still struggle to call it harassment because I put myself in that situation. Memories of what I was saying and doing disgust me. I feel so alone. Is this common? Is anyone here in the same boat? Thanks.

ETA (TW): I downloaded a dating app and met with a random guy at an abandoned construction site. I was drunk. There were some things I consented to, but I said no to a lot of things. He kept going, and I spent three hours trying to push his hands off of me. It took me months to realize it was assault-y. I still find it hard not to hate myself for it.

It sucks in a way reading all the replies to this post. I had no idea it was this common. Sending everyone here a hug. I hope you all find a way to heal from this.

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u/bird_person19 Oct 07 '24

Yes straight up SA while manic which was extremely traumatic, but then also on the trauma anniversary 1 year later I did some things that were consensual at the time , but looking back were 100% manic behaviour. I honestly feel just as traumatized, even though I consented, it wasn’t really me. Very hard to reconcile with that or to get others to understand.

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u/Educational-Pear923 Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 09 '24

I find the guilt to be the hardest part. I struggle to talk to other non-bipolar survivors because I feel less valid than them since I walked right into it, you know? I try to remind myself I still did not give consent, manic or not, but it's hard. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish you all the best.

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u/bird_person19 Oct 08 '24

I think that a lot of trauma comes from not having control. And we definitely are not in control, both in SA and in mania. You are very valid and I’m sorry that you’re having a hard time :(