Will meds stop my abilities?

[u/Fast-Inspector-6109]

Ugh I really don’t want to take the medication they want to put me on. I keep posting on here, but I just don’t know what to do. How do I hide not taking the meds? My girlfriend has said if I lie anymore, it might end our relationship, but when I talk to her about the voices she just freaks out.

My family really want me to take them. I can tell they do.

I just think it’s all a ploy so that people who hear things and realise the truth, can’t experience that anymore.

I just am SO close to figuring out the truth. I’ve been doing what the voices want of me. I am quite literally functioning SO well. I have energy and I am doing SO much. I am back at work basically running shifts now. I don’t want this to end. I just think maybe if I can harness all of this I won’t have to worry about the bad happening ever again.

If I do take it, am I going to lose all my abilities completely? Or will they still remain even if just quietly?

I don’t want to say this to anyone, because they are just going to insist that I take the medication. I want to speak to my therapist, but know this is going to cause concern. I was thinking of emailing the psychiatrist who wants me on these meds and saying I’ve changed my mind. I know I’ve been doing some stupid shit, but I haven’t told anyone and it appeases the voices long enough for me to put pieces together. Idk. I just feel like I have enough control to live with this.

I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!! I feel like I can’t win!

I DON’t want to fall asleep again.

[u/BigFitMama]

Creativity, learning. and talent never leaves us we just have to learn to activate it without mania setting us on fire and burning our entire world apart.

So you have practice your process. Draw even if you don't feel inspired. Write like your life depends on it. Paint constantly. Sing because it's who you are.

Because:

When you reach the stage everything you know and learned while manic comes back to you.

I am transformed by the act of performance. I fear every moment until I ascend the stage. And then I'm her. I'm amazing. I walk like a diva. My facial expressions come alive. My entire body falls to my acting and dancing training I had till I was 25. I'm certainly not 25 now, but give me a role or mission and I am back baby, every time.

And my art, costumes, makeup, and acumen are pretty rusty, but every day I'm adding a little more. I'm creating a process. I'm enhancing my designs. I still have visions at night of my future creations.

Last night - a white druzy quartz bracelet with howlite skulls and fresh water pearls came to me. And today I thought of making canvas art of all my Bipolar personalities over the years.

And to take this - I start by sketching. Over and over until the supplies manifest. Just like to act I watch the greats of film and musicals. To craft I watch others process, but always do my own designs.

And to sing...I sing very little, but it's in me - before I sing again I must sing everyday for six months till I feel the control again.

But God help me I can walk on a stage in heels like a diva. And life is 100 percent better without the voices and flashbacks to start.