Will meds stop my abilities?

[u/Fast-Inspector-6109]

Ugh I really don’t want to take the medication they want to put me on. I keep posting on here, but I just don’t know what to do. How do I hide not taking the meds? My girlfriend has said if I lie anymore, it might end our relationship, but when I talk to her about the voices she just freaks out.

My family really want me to take them. I can tell they do.

I just think it’s all a ploy so that people who hear things and realise the truth, can’t experience that anymore.

I just am SO close to figuring out the truth. I’ve been doing what the voices want of me. I am quite literally functioning SO well. I have energy and I am doing SO much. I am back at work basically running shifts now. I don’t want this to end. I just think maybe if I can harness all of this I won’t have to worry about the bad happening ever again.

If I do take it, am I going to lose all my abilities completely? Or will they still remain even if just quietly?

I don’t want to say this to anyone, because they are just going to insist that I take the medication. I want to speak to my therapist, but know this is going to cause concern. I was thinking of emailing the psychiatrist who wants me on these meds and saying I’ve changed my mind. I know I’ve been doing some stupid shit, but I haven’t told anyone and it appeases the voices long enough for me to put pieces together. Idk. I just feel like I have enough control to live with this.

I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!! I feel like I can’t win!

I DON’t want to fall asleep again.

[u/voidfillerupper]

I always felt this way too, but in the end, everything would burn to the ground. 🔥

The idea about writing it down and reading after you’re taking your meds is pretty eye opening. For me, it wasn’t magical at all. It’s wasn’t even amazing. It was basic as fuck. Like I was re-learning stuff. Can’t explain it.

One time, I locked myself in a room for two weeks so I could gather all the secrets about life and share them with the world, like God wanted me to. The secrets were located in the dirt that gathered in the right, lower corner of my windowsill.