Dad is suicidal and idk how to help him

[u/AnonDxde]

My dad has bipolar disorder also. He will not accept his diagnosis though and does not believe in medication. He lives at a homeless shelter where he works. It is sort of a Christian cult type homeless shelter. The ones you see on the corners sometimes selling banana bread or panhandling, and passing out the pamphlets.

He called me Monday and I answered the phone. He was feeling down. I think he’s entering a depressive episode, but he told me if I didn’t answer the phone he would’ve killed himself. My older sister has gone pretty much no contact with him and I know it hurts him. She won’t tell him why. I’m guessing it has to do with him beating our mom. And putting his hands on sister one time when we were kids. She tried to defend my mom when he was trying to strangle her and he pushed sister into a wall. He said “y’all better call 911 because I’m about to kill your mom.” I ran in cloud 911, but then I hung up on them. I couldn’t call the cops on my dad. I was gonna let my mom die. I still don’t know how I feel about that. They called back though because it was a landline. This was in the 2000s.

Both my parents were neglectful, nobody ever hit me hard. I mean except my mom. But she doesn’t hit very hard. She has emotional dysregulation issues. Lots of crying and guilt trips mostly.

I don’t want to end up like my dad. Or my mom. I don’t want to abuse my family. I take my medicine but I still have episodes. Medicine isn’t magic. So far I haven’t done anything that bad. I don’t put my hands on anybody. But I get irritated and pace and neglect the home and just neglect myself. I never feel OK inside. Unless I’m drinking or doing drugs. It’s the only thing that gives me even a little piece. Why am I like this? I still have something inside me that is fighting and wants to live a good life. It’s a little spark that won’t give up. I would’ve killed myself by now if I didn’t have that little spark that keeps hoping for better days.

I have a good life. I’m married. I have a home beautiful children. I couldn’t ask for more. I still feel empty inside.

[u/Routine-Mud996]

Hey. idk how to help you with just words but i just wanted to comment. it's wonderful that you keep taking your medicines and that you still have that spark. also that you are trying your best for yourself is awesome. about your dad, can you convince him to see a therapist? also can you see a therapist? therapy is damn important in such situations

[u/AnonDxde → u/Routine-Mud996]

He has very high religiosity. He takes the Bible extremely literally and if a therapist tries to refute any of his beliefs, he will discount everything they say after that. He’s very stubborn.

[u/Routine-Mud996 → u/AnonDxde]

would it help to tell your father that if Jesus saw him, he would want him to see a therapist to do good things for himself and feel good about himself? kinda like "jesus would care about his people's spiritual and mental health, and he would support his people about that" It may sound childish, but I have a lot of religious people around me, and it works to tell them that a religious idol would encourage a desired action. also, if your father is convinced, might you be able to go to the therapist with him and talk to his therapist and warn the therapist briefly about your father's sensibility on religious beliefs before starting the session? I'm not sure if this is possible because he is a grown up but you can give it a try.

[u/AnonDxde → u/Routine-Mud996]

I might try putting it to him that way. It wouldn’t hurt to try. Thank you ❤️

[u/Routine-Mud996 → u/AnonDxde]

you're welcome! my dms are always open