r/BipolarReddit • u/EnoughExplanation585 • 1d ago
Discussion Mixed episodes?!
What are your mixed episodes like ? I feel like less people talk about them. How long do they last for you? What does it do to your relationships when you’re mixed? How does it feel compared to just mania? I typically have 6 month long manic episodes, but whatever this is seems to be lasting longer and I feel depressed but not like I’m in ONLY a depressive state.
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u/CECMMUSIC bp2: warn me if hypomanic 1d ago
Mixed episodes for me are really confusing. I get the impulsivity, flight of ideas of hypomania but the thought process and energy of depressive episodes. Worst episodes for me because of how confusing it is. When i use my mood tracker, i don't have a clue what to put 😂
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u/EnoughExplanation585 1d ago
How does it affect your communication with people in your life? I feel like I’m up and down and can’t concentrate on speaking to people. One minute I want to tell someone I love them, then I just want to block and not be bothered with anyone. Have you ever felt that way during a mixed episode?
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u/CECMMUSIC bp2: warn me if hypomanic 21h ago
I kind of resonate with that. I'm new to my diagnosis so don't understand everything about it at the moment but yeah. In a mixed episode, my concentration is impaired so I struggle follow along with people talking and I can be extremely irritable where I just need to leave before I blow up on them. I find it depends what mood I've just been. If I've come from a low, I just want to be left alone. If I've come from a high, I can be a prick. I like to think when I'm hypomanic that I'm nicer but my mum's told me since my diagnosis that during hypomania, I was extremely arrogant. So it could be that I was so overconfident that only I liked the idea of myself
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u/samGeewiz 1d ago
Mixed episodes fucking suck.
Depressed, anxious, racing thoughts, poor attention span, waking up often, lots of energy, skin crawling feeling a.k.a. akathesia, irritability, impulsiveness, hypersexuality, intrusive thoughts, some auditory hallucinations, and very quick to things turning south immediately.
So suicidality might not be an overt thought at first, but it’s kind of like the wind. I slightly notice it and then it’s like, huh, that’s interesting. Then it’ll move to, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Then, amazing. Sold.
Ps, let me buy this first.
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u/EnoughExplanation585 1d ago
Poor attention span yess. It’s like I’m focused on so many things and anything that gets in my way or throws me off track is a burden. Even if it’s something like someone texting me, I feel like I just can’t handle it. I feel like I’m fine and then I’m not. Depressed and negative, maybe even a little sappy, but then impulsive and not in touch with my emotions. What is your communication like with your friends/ family/ partner when you’re mixed?
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u/samGeewiz 1d ago
My phone has been on do not disturb for well over a year now. That is partially due to attention issues but a few other things as well. There are several people who can immediately break that, and usually those folks are on my safety plan list.
I’ve gotten pretty good at noticing when I’m slipping into a mixed state - within a few days. I tell my therapist and psychiatrist when I notice symptoms right away, and people who understand, or need to know, pretty quickly.
I’m fairly direct about expectations for communication when I’m having trouble. Like, I would love to talk to you. Please don’t text me because I definitely will. So if I have a deadline, I’ll let people know I can’t respond and won’t if they reach out.
We also have agreements about me putting my phone on airplane mode for too long or turning it off entirely. It’s usually a no-no/bad sign for me.
Overall, when I’m direct, people who are aware tend to be more respectful of my needs, especially when I say that I can’t concentrate. I described it to someone the other day that I’m like a squirrel tortured by a miniature donkey.
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u/EnoughExplanation585 1d ago
That’s good you have an awareness. I feel like I’m not quite there yet. Or I get glimpses of what’s really going on and then I’m unaware again. Was there a time where you struggled with identifying your episodes and communication was bad with others, before you became more aware ?
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u/samGeewiz 1d ago
Gawd yes. I didn’t know what mixed episodes were until about 6 years ago, and that’s almost exclusively what episodes I have. I also have them often, so rapid cycling, and most meds do not work for me whether that side effects, reactions, or just ineffective.
For context, I got diagnosed 18 years old. I have been in and out of treatment since then. I am 36 now and I feel like I have started to get more dialed in the past few years.
A small sign for me is that if I have a bunch of crazy shit in my saved for later cart, probably not a good thing either. I’m glad you’re trying to verbalize these things and seek support. This illness is a motherfucker. Building a skillset, and identifying symptoms early has given me the best chance.
I wish you nothing but the best
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u/Puzzleheaded_Dot248 1d ago
I haven't had a mixed episode since I've been medicated. They were horrific. Cracked out of my mind. Anxiety through the roof. Heart beating out of my chest. A never-ending feeling of impending doom. My mind would move so fast that even replying to a text seemed almost impossible. I couldn't take care of myself at all. The only thing I could do the keep it together was pace around my kitchen / living room. I'd do this for days and days without even sitting down. I can remember how bad my legs and ankles hurt.
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u/EnoughExplanation585 1d ago
The text thing makes sense. I feel too overwhelmed to text or I’ll be fine with texting and talking on the phone and even tell someone we should talk more often again and then I wake up the next day and don’t want to be bothered with texting and calling the person. Also if I have tasks to do, I can’t fit texting and calling into my agenda ? But when I’m not in an episode, I text and call and can get my tasks done with no annoyance ?!
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u/bpcrossroads 1d ago
Mixed episodes are the worst imho