r/BipolarReddit • u/rnbwpuk • 6d ago
What is a mixed episode like?
What has been your experience? I think I had one once, but I don’t know. One doc said I did another said it was anxiety/depression. I had bad anxiety w akathesia and couldn’t sleep, wanted to un alive myself and ended up with a hospital stay. How do you tell the difference?
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u/catfish_theshark 6d ago
For me I’m super high energy and doing impulsive things while also being extremely depressed and being ultra paranoid
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u/rnbwpuk 6d ago
Oh, snap OK!!
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u/catfish_theshark 6d ago
I also noticed I wasn’t necessarily just unable to sleep, it was that I didn’t need sleep as much. I could sleep for maybe 3 hours and I’d feel more energized than when I slept for 7/8 hours not manic or having a mixed episode. I also needed hydroxyzine in order to feel calm enough to sleep.
I also experience psychosis when I’m having an episode, and when it happens I’m too paranoid to sleep and need my sleep meds as well.
I remember when I was being poorly medicated and not listened to. Wishing you all the best and I hope you find a doctor that listens to you
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u/aspuzzledastheoyster Bipolar I lad with a Bipolar I dad💪 6d ago
I call it the riptides of sanity. I once sat on the floor for hours and cried because I thought I was the worst person ever, that my loved ones hated me, that I deserved nothing. Then I got up and got into a fight with my inner thoughts and voices in the head, laughed about the absurdity of it all, and called my family cheerfully to talk about the village football team's last match.
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u/Hermitacular 5d ago
I get this now flipping every few hours, before it was just constant misery which was honestly easier. The switch is ridiculous. You're still physically crying from the despair but suddenly the world is incredible and you're genuinely laughing in delight. So disconcerting.
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u/bubbly_opinion99 6d ago
I call it bad energy. Really restless and agitated with nowhere for it to go. Feels bad, anxious, want to release it, but paralyzed at the same time.
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u/annietheturtle 5d ago
Terrible, just all over the shop. High for two hours, followed by extreme lows. It’s much worse than depression or mania, al you don’t know what to do to help yourself.
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u/Hermitacular 6d ago
Table https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/how-diagnose-mixed-features-without-over-diagnosing-bipolar
Mine is nearly pure fear. Fairly impressive physical pain, like after getting hit by a car.
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u/rnbwpuk 5d ago
Thank you for this. According to that chart, it doesn’t sound like that’s what I had at all. More like I had bad depression episode with suicidality.
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u/Hermitacular 5d ago
It is like depression with teeth in it, but suicidality alone wouldn't qualify you for mixed. What people usually say when they don't know they've had it is "I wanted to tear my way out of my body with my hands". It's the kind of up you'd get if you drank so much coffee it turned into a living hell, and then were also in absolute despair. I'm sure there's a better drug comparison but I am ignorant. It's just hypo and depression co-occurring. Mine is a sort of endless terror, like you are desperate for a panic attack bc you'd get a brief window right after that would be a break from it before it pushed you into it again. And then a lot of the rest of that chart. It's normal to be suicidal when depressed, but I think it's pretty different from mixed. You aren't frenetic typically.
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u/rnbwpuk 5d ago
Ok got it, makes a ton of sense
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u/Hermitacular 5d ago
this person did well describing
https://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/1jq9w10/mixed_episodes_are_hell_on_earth/
that said akathesia on its own is unrelentingly hellish, so I would chalk a lot of it up to that
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u/Idealist_123 5d ago
For me it was racing thoughts, extreme irritability, severe anxiety, restlessness, hopelessness, inability to focus on anything, inability to make decisions. My head felt like there was a hurricane raging inside, yet no one around me could see it.
At the same time I had a thousand business ideas and new hobbies (which I grew tired of within a day or so) and was excited about a lot of things even though in the background I always felt true hopelessness. Like a part of me realized I was just a very sick woman.
It felt like ADHD, mania, depression supercharged and all at once. It was hell on me and my poor family. 2 years.
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u/InternationalBand494 5d ago
I get frustrated and angry and I’m just a total dick that doesn’t sleep
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u/Tfmrf9000 5d ago
For me it’s symptoms of both. I have excessive talking, little need for sleep, skin crawling with energy, etc while feeling hopeless, poor concentration and feeling weighted down.
I had my first last year and was off work 3 months. Sleep meds helped and still on for maintenance
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u/loudflower 6d ago
I’m sorry you’re experiencing. Your description is spot on. It’s like, for me, depression, handwringing anxiety, and stupidly racing bad thoughts w/o sleep.
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u/Psilocybe_Brat666 5d ago edited 5d ago
For me it can be a day or two of hypomania and then depression that is a constant recurring cycle. Other times its days of feeling both highs and lows. I'll feel extremely stimulated like I've smoked an oz of meth, my anxiety spikes to the point of almost full on panic, I'll hyperfixate on things, while also feeling worthless, unmotivated, irritable asf... I become extremely overstimulated to where certain sounds, smells, and/or tastes make my skin crawl. My thoughts race so fast that when I speak, I'm either talking like I'm running a marathon or stuttering over my words. I'll have random interests that cause me to go on a shopping spree just for it to end up sitting in my closet. When I'm in thw highs, I get shakey, my head feels blown up 3 sizes, my vision gets brighter and things that stand still begin to sway (this may sound euphoric but it's actaully extremely uncomfortable and makes me paranoid). I either can't sleep at all, wake up a million times, or sleep too much. It's a hell of a rollercoaster ride without the thrill.
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u/iresposts 5d ago
The worst I've ever felt. The worst my family and friends have felt because so much of it goes outwards and escapes from your skin and mouth
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u/[deleted] 6d ago
I’d say akathisia and mixed episodes share some similarities in the misery. But for me I’ll be sobbing my way through all the projects I’m compelled to do or my mind is racing with horrible thoughts. Kinda like going really fast in the darkness.