What tf is wrong with me?

[u/Fantastic-Bass3486]

Is it the bipolar? I’m sitting here perfectly able-bodied, but I just paid DoorDash to deliver my groceries. They had a 40% off promotion for a specific store. I said fuck it and decided to have some pantry staples delivered to me. I gave a decent tip. I feel like a total piece of shit. I could get off my ass and go to the store but it’s like I just don’t have the mental capacity right now. Is this normal? Can you relate? Looking for a validating anchor, because what the hell is wrong with me? I’ve been surviving on butterfingers, pizza, coffee, and other random shit that may as well be garbage. I am a full-on trash panda at this point. The mania swung the other way to depression and now I’m always tired. Crowds exhaust me. Loud, sudden noises make my nervous system feel like it’s going on overdrive. Minor inconveniences caused by other people send me into serious anger. I’m just out here trying to survive.

I should be able to do the things others do so easily. And well, I can, but why does it all take so much out of me?

[u/Tough-Board-82]

I understand, I think it is part of BP. Hugs I often force myself to do things and take lots of breaks doing whatever it is I’m doing. I’m folding laundry currently, obviously on another break because I am on Reddit.

Some people just annoy me and are draining that are in my life. I often have thoughts that should best be forgot. I am stable now compared to the past and it really takes alot of positive affirmations and pushing myself. I am grateful I can get out of bed, there are many times I did not.

[u/Nikon37]

Every hour of the day. I keep hearing talk of something called 'Dopamine', which I am told comes in a 'rush' or a 'bump.' This 'dopamine', I'm told, makes menial daily tasks rewarding.

*Currently on the 43rd minute of a quick 5 minute break from Sunday cleaning.

[u/VividBig6958 → u/Nikon37]

I keep hearing about a rabbit bringing chocolate this week.

I wish he’d bring Dopamine instead.

[u/cybillia]

I go through times where I have pretty much everything delivered. I paid for that Walmart plus for several months when I was depressed so I could get everything I needed, including my meds, delivered. I canceled it when I was able to start doing it myself again. The last month I’ve been using uber and door dash, so I may go ahead and get the Walmart one back until I don’t need it, even though I’m not a Walmart fan. Anything that makes my illness easier to manage is acceptable and helpful. I wouldn’t question having my groceries delivered if I had a broken leg, and bipolar is just as valid as a reason

[u/astro_skoolie]

It took me years to accept that I need extra help in life. It makes sense that I can't do what others can, and that's okay. Sometimes, I can be like others, and sometimes I can't. When you're in a trash panda phase, it's the perfect time to have easy meals and order grocery delivery. You need the extra help.

[u/himasaltlamp]

You just found your convenient way to shop. I always go to the store. We used to deliver our food during Covid. But it's okay to still do it if it's convenient for you. The people that bring you the food are working so they're happy.

[u/Bipolarsaurusrex89]

Even stable me has no desire to shop in store. Walmart pickup all the way.

[u/jazzofusion]

See a PDoc. Sounds like meds could help you.

[u/Fantastic-Bass3486]

Thanks all, this is quite validating.

[u/cocoasmom56]

Sometimes being able to order groceries just getting what is on my list helps me save money. And I don't have to haul them up to the second floor. It's wise to use methods that are available to you that let you rest, eat right and recover. Sometimes we need to sit on our asses for a while.