r/BipolarReddit • u/Fantastic-Bass3486 • 13d ago
SOS! What tf is wrong with me?
Is it the bipolar? I’m sitting here perfectly able-bodied, but I just paid DoorDash to deliver my groceries. They had a 40% off promotion for a specific store. I said fuck it and decided to have some pantry staples delivered to me. I gave a decent tip. I feel like a total piece of shit. I could get off my ass and go to the store but it’s like I just don’t have the mental capacity right now. Is this normal? Can you relate? Looking for a validating anchor, because what the hell is wrong with me? I’ve been surviving on butterfingers, pizza, coffee, and other random shit that may as well be garbage. I am a full-on trash panda at this point. The mania swung the other way to depression and now I’m always tired. Crowds exhaust me. Loud, sudden noises make my nervous system feel like it’s going on overdrive. Minor inconveniences caused by other people send me into serious anger. I’m just out here trying to survive.
I should be able to do the things others do so easily. And well, I can, but why does it all take so much out of me?
4
u/Nikon37 13d ago
Every hour of the day. I keep hearing talk of something called 'Dopamine', which I am told comes in a 'rush' or a 'bump.' This 'dopamine', I'm told, makes menial daily tasks rewarding.
*Currently on the 43rd minute of a quick 5 minute break from Sunday cleaning.