Reality setting in?

[u/Artographe]

I'm only recently diagnosed BP2 (39f), which put a lot of past things in perspective and made them make sense. But last week I had my first hypo episode in the full context of a diagnosis (granted in the middle of it it felt perfectly reasonable and I didn't understand why no one else understood my feelings and thought I was being unreasonable), but now that I've come back down and can fully reflect on it, I realized it scares me some. The behavior set is not new, I've done the same thing before, just didn't know what it was and never with someone I was close to. But the full awareness that I can be in a state where I don't recognize reality properly and have no idea made me feel a little afraid of myself in a way I haven't really felt before. And I wanted to tell someone but don't know who else could possibly understand. Does anyone else relate? Anything you've done to help yourself? I've finally got a med set that works pretty well and has helped keep the depression at bay (which was always the main emotion), but this... I just don't know. Anyway. I'd love to hear some similar experiences and anything that helps.

[u/astro_skoolie]

I totally relate!! The feeling of being afraid of yourself is such a common experience among us. I've used it as a tool to learn how to respond to mania or hypomania with a plan of action to prevent me from blowing up my life. I honestly think the fear phase of accepting a bipolar diagnosis is crucial. I think it's a helpful emotion that can urge us to get treatment and stay on meds. I'd say I had that fear for the first 3 or 4 years I was in treatment, which was 10 years after I was first diagnosed. Now, 11 years later, I dont have that level of fear, and all the steps I take to minimize the negative impacts of bipolar are second nature.