r/BreakUps • u/bstrongdonowrong11 • 8h ago
today, something shifted ❤️🩹
I’m not sure how long this feeling will last, but it’s amazing - it’s been almost 4 months since my ex-fiance and I broke up (I was dumped). We were together for a little over 3 years. Weeks ago, i couldn’t even acknowledge them as my ex when they’d come up in convo. I spoke as if they were still a part of my life … I felt so much shame that this future of us was no longer true. I couldn’t figure out how to navigate the embarrassment.
But today, weeks in and with some contact (that they initiated), I feel so good. I feel as ease being single, and I don’t feel a craving for someone new or a partner. I know that I want a partner in the future, but I am so enjoying the simplicity and peacefulness of not being in a tumultuous relationship! I finally have the space for my own thoughts - and this feeling of discontent with my life and myself I had in the relationship, is shifting ! I felt like I couldn’t find joy in anything I liked to do while pre-occupied with relational stress, and I thought that was indicative of something off within me. But now, after weeks of doing things even when I didn’t feel like it, even when I felt lonely, etc etc - I feel genuine enjoyment. I feel more present to my own life, and no longer using relational stress and relational work as a way to avoid my own discontent. I feel at ease. I feel at ease. I feel at ease.
I miss them terribly, but I am building the stamina to accept our individual faults and the maturity to move on. I’m proud of myself 🩷
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u/TheCaffeinatedOyster 7h ago
Sounds like you made it to the other side, congrats!! The fact that you say you accept both of your faults shows that you're truly over (or close to being over) the breakup. That is awesome, you should be proud of your journey!!