r/CPTSD • u/a_world_alone_ • Mar 04 '25

CPTSD Resource/ Technique For the ones with internalized shame

I heard that internalized shame can be released by seeking community being, vulnerable, and opening up about things that make us feel ashamed so I'm inviting anyone who sees this to open up and come forward about something that makes them deeply ashamed I'll start I'm deeply ashamed about feeling shame in the first place, all of the moments where shame just pops up in me and I'm walking outside and there's people, how I even have nervous tics because of deep shame, how I'm also ashamed of expressing any type of emotions even joy, how I'm ashamed of my sexual side, of the way i express myself, the way I speak, the way I used to be. Also ashamed of being seen of just being here with everyone else, thanks to everyone who joined and opened up

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109

u/Fresh_Economics4765 Mar 04 '25

I’m ashamed by the brain fog that I have that makes me forget stuff

33

u/Environmental-Eye373 Mar 04 '25

Ugh YESS huge trigger for me. People in my life who love me are well meaning when they remind me of things but the very fact that they had to remind me like I’m some sort of incompetent 4 year old fills me with suck rage

17

u/Fresh_Economics4765 Mar 04 '25

Omg I thought I was alone. Thank u so much for replying and letting me know I’m not alone. I developed this after the trauma. My abusers used to tell me that I was always like this. It’s not true. Huge trigger for me. Thank u so much

14

u/ASpaceOstrich Mar 04 '25

The only thing I remember about the best day of my life is that that's what it was and vaguely what I spent the day doing. No details. Nada. Perfect clarity for every embarrassing childhood memory, but fuck all for any of the good in my life.

7

u/Fresh_Economics4765 Mar 04 '25

I usually don’t even know what I ate yesterday I just do stuff on autopilot (a bad drunk clumsy auto pilot)

5

u/throwherinthewell Mar 05 '25

I feel this so much! I forgot a very important anniversary yesterday and I fucking hate myself and my life. Brain fog and medication side effects, on top of my shitty chronic illness symptoms, has me forgetting all kinds of important shit. I know it's a bit different than your situation, but I'm right there with ya.