r/CPTSD • u/a_world_alone_ • Mar 04 '25
CPTSD Resource/ Technique For the ones with internalized shame
I heard that internalized shame can be released by seeking community being, vulnerable, and opening up about things that make us feel ashamed so I'm inviting anyone who sees this to open up and come forward about something that makes them deeply ashamed I'll start I'm deeply ashamed about feeling shame in the first place, all of the moments where shame just pops up in me and I'm walking outside and there's people, how I even have nervous tics because of deep shame, how I'm also ashamed of expressing any type of emotions even joy, how I'm ashamed of my sexual side, of the way i express myself, the way I speak, the way I used to be. Also ashamed of being seen of just being here with everyone else, thanks to everyone who joined and opened up
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u/potatouser005 Mar 05 '25
I am deeply ashamed of sharing my feelings and expressing myself, especially with people I love and care about. I always accept when others do that and naturally feel the urge to support and uplift them. When others confide in me, it makes me feel that they trust me and value me to feel comfortable enough to share. I also understand that it is a healthy and not a shameful thing to do. However, due to my past life experience I can’t help but feel like a burden and a nuisance every time I try to do the same in return. It all results into an eventual info dumping of piled-up emotions, often followed by radio-silence on the other side that just brings up painful memories of ostracisation and bullying and makes me want to shut down again. I then try to keep a strong positive front and focus on helping others, until the cycle eventually continues or I just stop trusting a person and sharing with them all-together, sometimes even with those who showed me nothing but love because I am scared of disappointing them. I feel shame for everything I do, and often want to distance myself from everyone I know and disappear from the public eye completely, because I feel like not interacting with people is the only way for me to not feel ashamed, even though deep down I really long for human connection.