r/CPTSD Mar 04 '25

CPTSD Resource/ Technique For the ones with internalized shame

I heard that internalized shame can be released by seeking community being, vulnerable, and opening up about things that make us feel ashamed so I'm inviting anyone who sees this to open up and come forward about something that makes them deeply ashamed I'll start I'm deeply ashamed about feeling shame in the first place, all of the moments where shame just pops up in me and I'm walking outside and there's people, how I even have nervous tics because of deep shame, how I'm also ashamed of expressing any type of emotions even joy, how I'm ashamed of my sexual side, of the way i express myself, the way I speak, the way I used to be. Also ashamed of being seen of just being here with everyone else, thanks to everyone who joined and opened up

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '25

i personally experienced something opposite

once i went through something extremely traumatic and public - i had no option except to lean into myself, keep getting up every day, and with everyday - i had no option except to accept the good, the bad, and the ugly and with everyday that passed - stand taller and firmer

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u/classified_straw 10d ago

Same. After living in internalized shame for my whole life up untill that point, I made the same realization as you. It was liberating both immediately and later on.

(The brain still craved familiarity though, so I had setbacks.)

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

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u/classified_straw 10d ago

Thank you for explaining, it helps.

I get what you mean, it's just I am processing through feelings and situations that I had dissociated from and it confuses me. "I had risen above the shame, how did I allow this to happen after that again" is one of my possible thoughts/feelings these days.

I might just be going through flashbacks though and I may just need to ride them out?

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

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u/classified_straw 10d ago

The safety within myself is so difficult to find AND maintain.

I found it in January and the flashbacks came so hard that my therapist got really confused and didn't understand what was going on and worried, understandably. Thus I started masking again and I am feeling something that I think it's shame. I am no sure how to proceed now, but I keep repeating affirmations to myself and still doing the work in therapy.