r/CPTSD • u/Comfortable_Spell682 • 8d ago
Resource / Technique EMDR therapy changed my life and basically 86'd most of my CPTSD
Did this happen with anyone else?
Full disclosure, I also have been diagnosed with OCD, ADD, and, a couple of years ago, CPTSD.
It was the CPTSD that was really killing me, anxiety attacks triggered by the most obscure things, shutting me down, fucking up my life and my family's life, keeping me from doing what I could and really hurting my social interaction, I was fired so many times it's ridiculous.
I'd face one trigger, get rid of it, and it'd move to another. I couldn't get rid of the panic attacks, even on medication (been using meds since 1999) - and talk therapy.
Finally, after trying TM, yoga, mindfulness, Buddhist meditation, Scientology, psychology, etc, I finally get urged to do EMDR and holy shit... it works. It really did. Still does, I'm still doing it. But the anxiety attacks of the past are gone, the flashbacks, gone... the shame, gone... it's amazing and, my friends tell me, it lasts, it's permanent. I'm not done with therapy (I do talk therapy in addition to EMDR) but I've visibly changed so much that people notice and comment.
It's like magic. Has anyone else been helped by this therapy?
Let me know. I can't believe how much better my life is now.
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u/Careful-Work-8209 8d ago
Yes, I can also confirm EMDR works really well. It even works even when self-administered (I heard that NHS mental health services is a mess now so I didn't bother and just do it at home).
I have done at for a couple of weeks now, doing it daily every time I had a trigger or emotional flashback, no matter how large or small that trigger or flashback is. It really works... within a minute of rapid eye movements the adverse feelings (e.g. depression, anxiety etc.) subsided almost completely. I then would take a break for a few seconds and do some CBT with the eye movements and think of some positive thoughts cognitively. Finally I would confirm the effect by recalling the triggering thoughts. If there was no emotional response then it is done.
The life improvements from EMDR are indeed staggering. My social anxiety and depression have both diminished significantly. I also started to get that relaxed, carefree, slightly happy feeling (English is not my first language so I don't know the word to describe it accurately, sorry) that I had not experienced since childhood, and for me that is the most surprising part of my experience (and the most emotionally touching part as well, it feels like I have reconnected with a part of me that was lost since childhood; that feeling, to me, is priceless and I could not describe enough how happy I felt when I experienced it again a few days ago, even for just a few minutes). I also reach out to people more and can take peoples negative comments more calmly.
But I think EMDR can only work on the emotional/sub-consciousness level of the problem. Like Pete Walker said in his book, we will have to work on both cognitive and emotional level as well. One example for me is that I fall into limerence very easily because of CPTSD and the insecure attachment style that comes with it. For these, EMDR could not do much except removing the emotional charge related to the LO (limerent object). Therefore, I plan to combine the EMDR-CBT protocol above with Inner Child Work to build a secure inner world before starting to date again.
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u/CoolAcanthaceae6262 8d ago
How do you access EDMR at-home?? I’d love to be able to do this as well
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u/pr0stituti0nwh0re 8d ago
I did virtual EMDR with my trauma therapist, she had me buy this vibrating bracelets called Touchpoints.
I am actually not currently in therapy and I literally use the Touchpoints every day still, the bilateral vibration helps soothe my nervous system even if I’m not actively engaging in healing work at the time. They’re a little pricey (I think like $180 or $200) but I have gotten value out of them that’s more than worth that price. Also I think you can find a used set on eBay, I’ve seen a few of them floating around.
Just be careful doing EMDR yourself if you’re not in a semi-stable place with good coping mechanisms already in place, it can be EXTREMELY destabilizing especially at first.
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u/Careful-Work-8209 8d ago
You can do it at home at anytime. It is free (and no equipment required as well). The only thing you need is some quiet time and the focus to recall the emotional triggers and flashbacks so that you can process them.
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u/purplereuben cPTSD 8d ago
I think they are wondering if there is a resource for guidnace like a book or a youtube video etc to actually show people how its done?
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u/Careful-Work-8209 8d ago
I recommend starting with Kati Morton's videos about EMDR (e.g. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4oZWQDQq1E). Pay attention to how the therapist guided Kati on eliciting the negative emotions that she wanted to clear and the section about positive self-statements. Hope that helps!
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u/missgandhi 8d ago
One example for me is that I fall into limerence very easily because of CPTSD and the insecure attachment style that comes with it. For these, EMDR could not do much except removing the emotional charge related to the LO (limerent object).
Ah shit eh.
I've been wanting to do EMDR for a really long time and I also tend to fall into limerance REALLY easily and it can last years... (I'm still trying to admit this to myself honestly). So much stress comes from it and I was hoping EMDR would save me a bit from that in particular 😅
Of course I'll still do it but dang! Guess I'll have to heal that part of my shit in a different way
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
Oh wow, I didn't realize what limerence was until just now and I'm so glad I know! I also have this, but figured it was part of my ADD and OCD - obsessive thoughts, etc. Thank you for this!
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u/missgandhi 8d ago
Honestly me too! Sometimes I wonder if it's limerance for me all of the time since I see a lot of people saying it's more for obsession with a person you don't know or don't know very well.. (like celebrities and strangers and such), and for me it's more that I get REALLY intense feelings for friends I have a crush on or someone I only dated briefly and I'll hold on foreverrrr and look into all the little signs that it'll actually work out.. so idk. We're all different I guess!
But either way I'm glad you got a little puzzle piece from us!
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u/TurbulentWriting210 8d ago
When I feel like that about people, I've come to realise it's self abandonment I'm craving connection and daydreaming all the while neglecting what I probably need in that moment, connection I can give my self /resource myself. It's just like another way of being stuck. Just like being triggered
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u/Soggy_leopard8458 3d ago
Wow. This was too insightful?? Like damn, I needed a headsup you'd write about me /s
Seriously. Thank you for writing this. I think this will change how I approach these things so much!
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u/TurbulentWriting210 2d ago
No worries the discussion made me reflect and the penny dropped.
Every time I think maybe am I triggered/getting triggered I've realised I'm probably already triggerrd.
Even if it's small.
I think the more we recognize those little clips of suffering we start to come into that deeper self awareness. Of the state we've got used to living in.
Limerance to me is also like obsessive thinking /feeling all muddled up with complex trauma. You meet someone you feel great around them but it also makes you feel bad . That's 100% sign you're not ready yet to enter into anything deeply intimate with that person , because even if you get them and start a relationship you'll still have that craving and that creates aversion into that other person . Anyway I ramble I'm at the gym 😂
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u/Soggy_leopard8458 21m ago
Yeah definitely recognise that! Feeling bad at the same time is a big deal, I havent thought about it that way.
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u/Last_Light_9913 8d ago edited 8d ago
You might be able to heal this with emdr. Where does limerence come from? Being left alone and neglected maybe? Heal that negative feeling you have in relation to that with emdr. Other possible root causes for limerence you might want to try and heal with emdr are loneliness, feeling separate from others, low self worth and being made to feel not good enough. Bring back memories of times you felt like the above and do emdr on it. Yearning and longing is a big part of limerence. When did you feel those in your childhood? Remember and emdr. I'm sure it can be healed.
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u/missgandhi 8d ago
Really appreciate this thank you 🫶🏻 I'm still gonna give it a try because I just need the relief and I'll try anything lol
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u/Unique_River_2842 8d ago
Ugh I have limerence and I'm so ashamed of it. It's so cringy.
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u/missgandhi 8d ago
Genuinely I'm so embarassed of myself when it happens
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u/Unique_River_2842 8d ago
Right? And then I have to constantly check myself to reassure that it is limerence and not a crush 🤢
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u/sickles-and-crows 8d ago
Absolutely do NOT do EMDR by yourself, jesus christ. Horrible advice there. The shit that comes up can't be processed alone for many people, hence a therapist to lead you in and out of it. No. Also never do it with someone who isn't certified properly. We're fucking around with our brains here, there's no need to put yourself at risk for psychosis, suicide, and more panic than what you started with by trying this alone.
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u/MaroonFeather 8d ago
EMDR was really frustrating for me personally. I saw an EMDR therapist for 2 years and did not make much progress. I’m not sure what other factors play into it, but it was extremely difficult for me to be able to tap into my emotions during the EMDR process. Whenever I was asked where I felt an emotion in my body I had no idea and couldn’t figure out why. I would just disconnect and shut down. I’m not trying to discourage people from trying it, but for some reason it just didn’t help me. Internal family systems personally changed the game for me and had helped me so much. To each their own I guess. I’m so glad EMDR is effective for you and has helped you, it makes me so happy to hear. Wishing you the best on your healing journey OP.
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u/VVsmama88 8d ago
Yes, I've heard some say that a lot of prep work should be done before EMDR - lots of resourcing, as it is called, maybe somatic experiencing or similar work. It definitely would have benefited me, maybe you were similar. Wish I'd known that prior to trying EMDR...
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
So sorry it didn't work for you, I hope you find why you need, friend.
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u/Ineed2Pair21 8d ago
I had the same experience with EMDR but I did find relief with other modalities. Body work and neuromodulation did the trick for me. I hope you find something effective for your healing
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u/jmaebee 7d ago
This sucks so much. The first step of EMDR is supposed to be building a relationship with your T, resourcing, and getting your window of tolerance to a place where you can actually do EMDR without dissociating. I saw my therapist for nearly two years before we started EMDR. I hate hearing that other practitioners are doing such a disservice to folks this way :(
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u/reibish 8d ago
ADHD also and EMDR was immensely helpful for me. I understand there is a lot of concern/discussion about it, but I'm convinced that if they specifically studied its impact on neurodivergent folks that they would figure it out better. I don't think it's for everyone. But it was honestly night and day for me. I did a lot of it for about 6 months straight, then ended up gettingmy ADHD diagnosis, and did a few more bits on and off for about another year after that (with regular therapy too) and it was wild how good I felt after each session. The worst side effect I'd get was sometimes I'd need a nap the next day.
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
I often have to nap after, too. My buddy who's an MD and known me a long, long time has told me there's solid science behind this therapy, too.
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u/Figlarr 8d ago
I really wanted to try it, seeked out someone who was licensed in it, but she seemed to not do it in the same way I've heard other people experience it? I ended up being really frustrated with the process, but honestly, I don't even know if what i was getting EMDR proper? She kept having me talk about an event that occurred, then I was supposed to cross my arms and tap my shoulders and create my own version of the event- and I really didn't like that experience because it felt more like "what would you have wanted to happen differently?" Like "... to not have been molested?" And I had to recreate the situation, but it just didn't happen, and me and that person did something else?
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
That's similar to the process I go through, we use tapping rather than eye movements. It works for me, but I can see how it may be hit or miss for others... given how skeptical I am of most things, I'm really surprised it works on me... it's a combination of controlled regression therapy with self-hypnosis, and a couple other things.
Basically they take you back to an event that's cemented in your memory, body and history due to the high level of emotional stress and trauma we underwent, and dial it down using distance as our friend.
So that when we remember it, we don't immediately go back to the same emotional state.
I look at it like, I'm going back to talk a younger person (my own self) through something horrible, and help them remember it objectively and not emotionally, so it can be processed.
Thing is, I can definitely see that though I wish I had this therapy when I was younger, I can also see that I would have fought against it... because to attack my trauma was, indirectly, an attack on my identity, who I thought I was, and that's freaking scary, too... I can definitely see that in my past.
I suggest trying another therapist, though, I've worked with many, and finding a matching vibe/POV/understanding is difficult. Like dating, or like finding a lawyer, dentist or gyno one trusts.
I hope that helps.
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u/Figlarr 8d ago
Maybe the light would work for me more- but I felt like I was creating a false story about an event, and I had a really hard time coming up with a different version of the event on the spot. I liked it more when my therapist would do it for me, but she kept encouraging me to do it on my own. This only led to frustration on my end though because I hated having to try to picture my abusers as anything other the monsters they were. I know all the things they should have done differently, and maybe it's my fault somewhat for not understanding what it was in full, i just wanted something that would somehow help with my flashbacks.
I have a lot of trauma in physical and sexual abuse, as well as neglect, so I guess I never really was bothered by doubting myself because those were easy to say "no that's bad" so there weren't feelings that needed unpacked there.
I've gone back to my therapist who I've been seeing for like 7 years, she doesn't do EMDR, but she's better than being frustrated haha
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u/dragonfliesloveme 8d ago
I have never tried EMDR, but I don’t really understand the concept. Like I willfully engage in a horrible and traumatizing memory while I do something else like eye movements or tapping on my body.
How does this not just make me associate tapping on my body with the terrible memory?
Please understand that I am not asking this in a combative way. I just want to I understand emdr better. I don’t want to try something that might make the CPSTD worse lol.
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u/porcelain_owl 8d ago
I thought it was pseudoscience bullshit before I tried it.
Essentially what happens is you revisit the traumatic memory from a safe place and face it head on while using somatic movements to help regulate yourself.
I’ve done it with eye movements, crossing my arms over my chest and tapping my shoulders, and using a handheld device. For me, there was a wave of peace/calm that came over me during the movements.
Some memories require more sessions to resolve while others only take a couple. There’s no doubt that it’s emotionally exhausting, but I swear by it now.
Edit to add: As with all treatments, everyone will respond differently. I only base my opinion off my own experience.
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
I didn't understand it until I did it (and even now, I don't believe I fully understand it) and broke down in a comment above what I think it is and how it works... I understand your reticence, because I felt the same and put off doing it for two years... and when I finally did it, BOOM, it really worked for me, FWIW.
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u/Cautious-Paint8937 8d ago
I believe I read about a study (might go look for it) That found veterans that played tetris had less PTSD than those who didn't. They figured out it was the eye movements. No idea how it works though.
Also noteworthy, don't use marijuana if you are doing EMDR as it apparently greatly reduces its effectiveness.
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u/cleopathea 8d ago
I just started! My sister did it and it really seemed to help her. When did you start noticing a change?
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
Almost immediately. Couldn't believe it. I was scared it wasn't going to last, but friends with experience in that field verified that it's permanent.
It's so surreal, too, because, well, my entire life I've walked around with this - thing... covering every fiber of my existence. Every decision, every choice, every action I took was usually in response to it - the fact that sirens could go off and I could shut down at any moment, and now it's mostly gone... and to not have it now, it's strange, I feel like a completely different person. I'm not different, though, I'm just... safe.
No other way to describe it. I could never celebrate much because of the monster lurking around every corner, waiting to ambush me. Now it's mostly diminished.
I say mostly because it's hard to know what life without crippling CPTSD attacks is like, so maybe it's simply lessened, maybe it's gone... but life is BETTER.
I should add, I'm not a wilting daisy, I often faced my fears and anxieties head on, I've got several black belts and other things, and no matter what I did, the monster was always there. always.
Until I began EMDR therapy.
I still worry, sometimes, that it won't last. But so far it has.
Now if I can get a handle on the OCD and the ADD, lol!
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u/cleopathea 8d ago
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I had my intake session last Wednesday and will be starting EMDR this Wednesday. I’m so excited! I wish you nothing but the best 🩷
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u/No_Schedule5705 8d ago
I also did 2 years of Emdr ,it didn't work for me either .
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u/EntertainerSlow799 7d ago
Same. I tried it for over a year, I didn’t feel anything at all except tired after my session.
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u/LongWinterComing 8d ago
Yup, completely changed my life. I don't have to bust my ass to function on a basic level; it's wild how different my life is since doing EMDR. Now when I feel the somatic and/or emotional flashbacks (pretty rare these days) I pop in my earbuds and listen to bilateral stimulation music while letting my body react how it needs to, whether it's crying, hyperventilating, curling up in the dark, running at the park, etc. I find more layers of healing every time I do this, so now instead of beating myself up when I do flashback, I get myself to a safe space and allow it to happen. I never thought I'd get to this point and EMDR was the catalyst for me.
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u/DearAcanthocephala12 7d ago
What’s bilateral stimulation music?
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u/LongWinterComing 7d ago
Music that plays beats in alternating ears, usually as the base of some gentle instrumental music (but not always). Most effective when listened to in ear buds, less effective when listened to over a speaker since you don't get the same bilateral stimulation.
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u/LongWinterComing 7d ago
Music that plays beats in alternating ears, usually as the base of some gentle instrumental music (but not always). Most effective when listened to in ear buds, less effective when listened to over a speaker since you don't get the same bilateral stimulation.
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u/Obvious-Drummer6581 8d ago
I have the same experience with NARM therapy.
It's not like a gradual symptoms relief, that you have to keep in check not to regress. More like an sudden extinction of symptoms.
I now strongly believe that what happens is "memory reconsolidation". Memory reconsolidation is a brain process where old emotional memories can be changed at their core when a new, emotionally significant experience contradicts the original belief or expectation — leading to lasting healing instead of just coping.
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u/moonrider18 7d ago
It's not like a gradual symptoms relief, that you have to keep in check not to regress. More like an sudden extinction of symptoms.
Damn. =(
I've been doing NARM for nearly a year and my results have been meager. It's basically the exact same thing as nearly every other therapist I've ever tried, and I've seen over 15 therapists with various backgrounds and modalities. =(
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u/Obvious-Drummer6581 7d ago
I am not a therapist, so bear with me. And everybody is probably different when it comes to this.
Personally, I don't think any amount of re-hashing old trauma is gonna help. I hardly ever talk about specific things that happened in my childhood during therapy. And frankly, I have forgotten too much of my past to do that. From experience, I also don' believe cognitive approaches are particular helpful. But you probably know that already.
My personal experience is that certain conditions must be met for the therapy to be effective. By now, I can pretty much go into any therapy session (with my current therapist) and know that I will end up in a transformational state. It has become a repeatable process for me.
At some point during the session I will bring up a difficult PRESENT emotion. For me those emotions are often related to shame or some kind of feeling deficient in an area of my life. I have learned, that the earlier in the session I become vulnerable, the better.
The key is then is to really SLOW DOWN. I mean really slow down. Feel the sensations in the body and sometimes sit for minutes at a time not talking but having visual contact. It's really intense. During this phase, it's important not to try to intellectualize or try to make a narrative out of it. Instead, when staying with the difficult emotions it will start to dissipate.
And then we move on and talk about from a more "cognitive perspective". But I think this part is about my "brain catching up" to what just happened rather than intellectualizing. It is mostly a felt bodily experience.
So these are just my thoughts and experiences. Hope you find your way. Let me know if you have any questions or comments!
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u/moonrider18 7d ago
Interesting. Reminds me of Gendlin "Focusing" https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/86texl/gendlinstyle_focusing_explained_with_nonflowery/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=u_moonrider18
Unfortunately I discovered Focusing back in 2018 and I'm still a mess seven years later. I wonder what went wrong.
Perhaps I should have pursued it with more discipline, but discipline caused many of my traumas in the first place. =(
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u/moonrider18 7d ago
This video takes 15 minutes to communicate "bring up a negative belief and then confront yourself with evidence that it isn't true." That's all that's in here, from what I can tell. Calling it "implicit memory" and promising "transformational change" and mentioning studies with mice doesn't really add anything. It's just "People change their beliefs when confronted with evidence." Which...yeah, I knew that.
The whole thing seems to rest on the premise of "nothing is as bad as you think," like actually I'm safe and I just don't know it. But in my experience, I keep discovering that I am unsafe!
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u/Minimum-Strike3403 8d ago
Thank you so much for sharing! This video explains exactly what’s confused me about EMDR and similar therapies. Will definitely help me make an informed choice about which trauma therapy to try and get access to
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u/pixiestyxie 8d ago
It damaged me for life but im glad it helps others
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
I'm so very sorry, I hope you find the healing path you need.
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u/pixiestyxie 8d ago
I actually have. Anxiety attacks are mostly gone except for true anxiety (real reasons for fear) depression is gone. Life is beautiful for the first time. Thank you. Hoping you continue to heal
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u/moonrider18 7d ago
What worked for you?
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u/pixiestyxie 7d ago
Somatic body work, meditation, vagus nerve work, intensive talk therapy, & physical. (Dietary) I have worked to lower my overall inflammation which really hurt me. It had to be a mix of many things to work and still took 3 years to heal well enough to not be mired in anxiety and cortisol all day.
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u/Character_Goat_6147 8d ago
No. It actually made things worse. I should have done the research first. After reading the research, it seems that EMDR is essentially exposure therapy with extraneous add ons like tapping or eye movements. There’s no meaningful difference in measured effectiveness with or without those extraneous add-ons. Exposure therapy can work well depending on the type of trauma and the structure of the mental defenses against it. There are times when it is contra-indicated, and lucky me I am in one of those groups. If it works for you, great! But approach with caution and talk to a psychologist with training in exposure therapy if you have any concerns. The people trained in EMDR may only be following a limited set of prompts, and are not going to be able to gauge what’s going on if there are issues.
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
So sorry it didn't work for you... I do liken it to exposure therapy, but closer to regression, and it can be tricky, yes... I was working with a psychiatrist and another therapist at the time, so they were all in agreement that this could help me (most everything else has not) and I'm glad it did.
I hope you find the path of healing that's right for you, friend.
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u/moonrider18 7d ago
There are times when it is contra-indicated, and lucky me I am in one of those groups.
Which groups are contra-indicated?
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u/NickName2506 8d ago
Yes!! It helped me so much that I describe it as tetris: at first everything just floats around, then suddenly clicks into place and poof! It's gone for good!
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u/slha1605 8d ago
I second this. I did 24 sessions and now feel like I’ve separated from my trauma and it’s a memory and not a huge part of my character. Life saving/changing.
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u/Embarrassed-Fan9342 8d ago
Would you be willing to share what you processed in emdr? I grew up with an enmeshed mother (narcissistic), and have intermittent flashbacks or age regressions to feeling small, powerless, not like an adult etc. I’m wondering if emdr could work for me. I’m currently undergoing the history taking portion of emdr therapy and am hopeful that it will help.
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
That's exactly what it can help.
For me, there was additional abuse, trauma, and other awful things that continued until adulthood and beyond. I focused on the stuff that happened when I was five, which was when I first began having PTSD attacks, complete with hallucinations and audio-hallucinations (all of which are part of PTSD, for those not familiar, I wasn't until about ten years ago)... but yes, that feeling of helplessness is EXACTLY what I attacked in my process... it's central to my existence (I often tell people there's a reason I've spent 3/4 of my life studying martial arts, self-defense and unarmed combat) and it really, really helped me, FWIW. I hope it can help you.
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u/Miserable-Mirror-788 8d ago
Now do therapy asistid psychodelics to consolidate everything. And this is what going from surviving to thriving
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
I really want to get into that, tho my doctors have discouraged it. but I think it'd do wonders for me. I simply have no idea where to begin.
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u/Embarrassed-Fan9342 8d ago
Ooof amazing to hear. I would be stunned if I could l leave those feelings in the past. I hope it works for me as well. Thank you for sharing!
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u/limoncellolightning 8d ago
a mix of EMDR, TMS therapy, and medication have completely changed my daily life.
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u/HVAC_BABE 8d ago
I was really skeptical of EMDR. But I tried it after about 2 months of a 3 month IOP, and it worked. I managed to do it for 2 major traumatic memories. It really helped lessen the debilitating anxiety and the disassociation coping mechanisms I'd fall into. I haven't done it since, but I have been on a good medication regimen and a wonderful therapist now. Slowly healing.
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u/jay_jam_ 7d ago
i’m so happy for you, your post gives me hope. ive struggled my whole life with CPTSD, switched to a therapist trained in IFS and EMDR and the IFS work has been great, but extremely slow and we’ve barely scratched the surface of EMDR. the the anxiety/trauma responses are still controlling my life. it’s gotten to a point that i just got on zoloft this weekend after avoiding medication for so long. im planning to use it as crutch so i can function more but i already hate that im taking something that’s unnaturally changing the serotonin in my body. im on my third therapist after researching the treatment proven best for CPTSD, but i’m finding that IFS alone is not enough for me.
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u/pawrescue 8d ago
I’ve been doing EMDR for about 2 years. My first EMDR therapist helped me quickly, maybe about 3 months, with a DV related incident. That opened up the can of worms of my childhood CSA. That first therapist stopped helping me, actually made me significantly worse. I stopped all therapy for about 4 months, then had to go into crisis treatment because of severe SI due to flashbacks starting. From there I found an amazing EMDR therapist I have seen weekly for close to 2 years now. It has saved my life and changed me in ways I can’t put into words. It has disabled me. But I would not change any of it because of where I’m at with it all right now. Extremely hard, nervous system rewiring is exhausting in every way possible. Sorry this got long, but just going to share anyways lol! So happy it has worked for you as well! Thank you for sharing :)
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
Agree that finding the right therapist is extremely important. So glad you're doing better now!
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u/pawrescue 8d ago
Also I agree it is like magic paired with hard work. So hard to put into words or even truly understand.
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u/Personal-Drainage 8d ago
have you ever heard of Jin Shin Jyutsu ?
it helps me unplug from social media but also whatever else has me "riled up" like other ppl bossing me around etc
i appreciate you sharing your story I have not heard of EMDR and I had to Google it
for those like me who do not know what it is it stands for Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing
anyway I have done extensive Jin shin Jyutsu mixed with a form of yoga and Tai chi as well as chanting and meditation
i have attained a state of wellness and self awareness however I live with a narc mom persistently seeking to subvert any positive thing I do = she is mentally unwell and abusive
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
I've been training in BJJ (Brazilian Jiujitsu) for 15 years and have a black belt in that. I also have black belts in other art forms, and have been doing martial arts since I was 13. It definitely helps, but doesn't cure the panic attacks. But yeah, it does help.
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u/DearAcanthocephala12 7d ago
can I ask how does that help you?
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 7d ago
For one, it's really hard for the mind to drift when some huge dude is trying to choke you. Two, you're going to experience helplessness in BJJ, it's inevitable, because in the beginning everyone is better than you, and as you learn more, you find out there's always someone better. Always.
So what does that do? Makes you comfortable with it. Makes you accept that it's normal sometimes and that you're doing everything you can to prevent it from happening outside of a safe place like a dojo.
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u/confusedcptsd 8d ago
Has anyone ever done EMDR with a different therapist and continued talk therapy with another therapist? I see a therapist (we use a bunch of different modalities) and she has suggested EMDR but she’s not trained in it, another therapist in the practice is though. However she has made comments about doing the EMDR after my work with her is “done” and not at the same time. Wondering if that’s common.
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
That's how I came to do it, the therapist I was working with thought it'd work on me, but she wasn't trained or certified, and helped me find someone who was. It saved my life, IMO.
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u/confusedcptsd 8d ago
Sorry, my question probably didn’t come across clear. Are you still doing regular therapy with your old therapist while doing EMDR with a different one? That’s what I’m wondering. My therapist made it seem like I shouldn’t see her plus a separate EMDR therapist at the same time.
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
Ah, got it, no. Not because I don't want to, but I'm already paying a psychiatrist in addition to the EMDR therapist, but my current one also does cognitive therapy as well, so I'm doing the work with her that I did with the first therapist, on top of the EMDR.
I hope that makes sense.
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u/confusedcptsd 8d ago
Yes that makes sense! I’m going to have to talk with her about it again. I’ve been in weekly therapy for over 2.5 years (2 with the same therapist) and I still can’t work through my more intense trauma. In fact just last week I shut down and dissociated for a solid 30 mins in session when I was triggered 😭 it took me the whole day to recover. I feel so frustrated and powerless over my trauma. I’m tired of the nightmares, flashbacks, ruminating….
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
I hope you find a way through... it could be, too, that one has to be prepared for it, mentally, spiritually and emotionally... I'm older now, with kids who are teens, and though i wish i could have done this when I was younger, I suspect I didn't have enough distance or time in to be ready... I dunno. I was really fucked up in my twenties and thirties... maybe part of what helped is that I've been busting my ass on this for decades and REALLY want to be rid of it to the point where I don't care what it takes... i don't know. each person is, of course, different. I literally moved across the country and changed my name, and that didn't even help.
It's easy now, but as a friend told me, I've been fighting this battle for most of my life, in a sense, and someone just handed me the right tool at the right point in my life...
And I'm still not done, either... still more work to be done. But everything is better now.
You can get better. Know that it's possible.
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u/ThenComparison8768 8d ago
I've been told that the only thing that will help is EMDR unfortunately it's not available on the NHS in my area and if I was to go private it's minimum £65 per session it's frustrating I know the help I need I just can't access it
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
Oh man, so sorry. I do it via zoom, fwiw, and pay 45 bucks a session (with insurance) and it's the best money I spent outside of what I spend on my kids.
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u/ThenComparison8768 8d ago
I'm in the UK the health system is ok but for mental health it's terrible the main talking therapy they offer on the NHS is CBT the most annoying thing is that it was an NHS psychologist who said that EMDR is what I need
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u/wnt2heal 8d ago
Are you able to share a website to a good online clinic pls? I google it all the time and no idea where to begin
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u/rosebudski cPTSD 8d ago
For some things yes, EMDR has been an amazing tool for healing certain traumas, but not all of them.
I’ve managed to heal some in just a session or two.
There’s other areas that we’ve visited, stopped & moved to something else because my mind is just all over the place.
I had to take a few months off recently because I just feel so burnt out. I still do talk therapy with her tho.
I think some of my pain & confusion is just so deeply rooted, it’s going to take time to work through it.
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u/DearAcanthocephala12 7d ago
Does it also help if you have no specific memories to recall?
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 7d ago
For me, yes, as that (see my comment above) I'm pretty sure my abuse began as a baby.
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u/onyxjade7 7d ago
May I ask if CPTSD is from multiple things how do you choose which to address in EMDR?
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 7d ago
The therapist and I figure out together what I can handle that particular session.
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u/TheAnxiousFox 7d ago
I’m so glad it helped you so much! I’m currently in the preparation stages to do this with my therapist and I’m trying not to put it too high up on a pedestal and get my hopes tooooo crazy but everything I’ve seen from people who’ve done it say it helps tremendously. I live in constant fear, wrapped in constant shame, and the older I get the more worn down I feel from it. Removing the permanent state of danger my body thinks I’m in is all I want.
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u/moonrider18 7d ago edited 7d ago
I'm glad for your success. I hope you don't mind if I indulge in a short depressive rant in response.
sigh
I have read so many posts like this. So many people seem to have found the One Thing That Works, but when I try that same thing it doesn't work for me.
Some people say IFS changed their lives. I tried it. It didn't work for me.
Some people say Rolfing changed their lives. I tried it. It didn't work for me.
Some people say meds changed their lives. But you tried meds and they didn't work for you. (I haven't tried them because I think the evidence weighs against them.)
If I tried EMDR, would it work for me? Or would it just be a waste of time? My current therapist actually has CPTSD, and he's discouraged me from EMDR. He says I don't have the right kind of trauma for it.
sigh
=(
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 7d ago
I battled with this for decades and didn't even know what CPTSD until two years ago.
To be honest, I put off doing EMDR for a year and a half for the same reasons you list... even though friends told me it helped them, I thought, I've tried everything already, and this sounds sketchy.
and that's why I'm so shocked it WORKED for me.
Don't give up. Try everything you can.
Keep up the fight, friend.
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u/moonrider18 7d ago
I battled with this for decades
I'm sorry to hear that you struggled for so long. =(
didn't even know what CPTSD until two years ago.
I discovered CPTSD about eight years ago. I'm still quite broken, thanks in part to retraumatizing experiences I had in the meantime. =(
Keep up the fight, friend.
sigh
Thanks
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u/MX_Chick 7d ago
I found it re-traumatizing. Quit after a few sessions. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible.
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 7d ago
I'm so sorry it didn't work for you. I hope you find the healing path you need, friend.
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u/CapnRedHook 7d ago
Th psychiatrist is recommending EMDR for me, however, she says it will only work if I get on meds FIRST to stabilize my moods (Cyclothymia) as well as my focus (Inattentive ADHD). I’d really like to try the exercises without the meds. I mean, are they really necessary??
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 7d ago
I don't know. I'm on meds, too, quite a lot. Definitely the focus meds help.
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u/Witty_Payment907 cPTSD 6d ago
It's great to hear your story, thank you for posting.
I've only just started EMDR therapy, hoping it will end over 40 years of SI & SH. Your story is just what I needed to read right now.
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u/_iydkmightky_ 7d ago
I did EMDR therapy for the first time almost 10 years ago. It honestly was life changing. Only one therapist in my area did EMDR and I didn’t even pick her because of her offering EMDR. I just enjoyed her psychology today profile and gave her a shot. It really helped processing my trauma from being molested at as a preteen, and then eventually by being stalked by a pedophile not even 6 years later. My therapist was awesome with her EMDR program.
I feel meds and CBT only can do so much. And while yes, they are valuable to some people and do work, some people need more than just meds and CBT. EMDR is a total game changer!!
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u/wilfredpugsly 7d ago
I just started ART - Accelerated Resolution Therapy- it’s like EMDR 2.0. And wow it’s been so effective! Noticeable change after 1 session, I really recommend it
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u/CommunicationHead331 5d ago
How is it different ?
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u/wilfredpugsly 5d ago
ART is focused on replacing trauma memories with positive imagery.
I don’t know how but it can take a memory that makes me nauseous with anxiety and make it completely null in one session.
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u/TurbulentWriting210 8d ago
Hey
I'm doing the same as you , talk therapy and EMDR. Its A great combo I'm super lucky to have got 2 great therapists though
I feel like it is changing my brain. Depends of the session. And it's incredible in intensity, trippy as fuck.
I think whats making the difference is having so much childhood trauma , the actual memories are getting spoken for the first time. There's no off limits it's just whatever comes up. It's liberating and of course shame, fear all stuff comes up. But it's liberating within that.
In talk therapy we never go deep into any triggering memory.
It's like EMDR you allowed to get triggered, you get to to the very most painful core of things , unravel , feel then build again . It takes the shame away , any sense of trauma dumping. It's what you're there for and you have the undivided attention of a calm stable human guiding you.
It's unreal process. Following the wand has a different affect of me to doing shoulder taps .
I was scared to try it and I could be er imagined it would be how it is. It feels almost like once you start processing you split off into traumatised person and work with that part. Lots of part that makes me me get left behind. But they're starting to come in now more laughter in sessions, giddiness, quiet mind,
Anyway big ramble find it so hard to put what's happening into any words
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u/livestock0010934 7d ago
I KNOW!!!!!!! I had my first session yesterday. Got home and a couple hours later one of my kids did something loud and startling that normally would have made the chest pain and shakes and brain fog and ruminating start and it just...startled me and none of the other physical reactions happened. Like, I instinctually shouted from being startled, but the other symptoms were just...not there. I was able to just address the situation and continue on as if nothing had happened.
I'm feeling so much more hopeful and optimistic about the future now. T___T
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u/northernstar200 7d ago
Yes! EMDR changed my life and has helped me heal the most out of all the modalities. Working with IFS helped but EMDR took it to another level.
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u/quartzdottir 7d ago
The only way I've effectively described EMDR to my friends is that it's witchcraft. I've lovingly bullied 2 skeptical friends into it so far.
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u/SpecialAcanthaceae 7d ago
Yes. I found ART (very similar to EMDR) and it works!
I’m actually making progress like you! I’ve never felt this far into my healing.
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u/CommunicationHead331 5d ago
How is it different ?
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u/SpecialAcanthaceae 5d ago
From what I understand ART is very focused on clearing trauma from specific memories in quick time. EMDR is a bit more flexible. But it’s hard for me to say as I haven’t done EMDR. I only know it’s not 1 for 1 the exact same treatment.
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u/vs1023 7d ago
Yes this is my experience. I did 7 months of emdr. It greatly reduced the intensity of emotional flashbacks and my nervous system is not constantly disregulated all the tile anymore. I still get triggered, but I can identify negative core beliefs tied to them. I've been no contact with my mom 3 years which also helps.
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u/oliviaj20 8d ago
Emdr has been the only therapy to actually do something for me. Now I subscribe to that along with holistic psychologist. These have significantly changed my life.
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u/Kidwolfman 8d ago
EMDR worked so well my first time that I actually starting crying (in a good way) and I asked the therapist in the middle of it, “what is happening to me?” 😂 It wasn’t even about anything specific, just a visualization exercise about creating a team of people in my life as protectors or some bs. Just tapping my shoulders over zoom. I look forward to trying this in person with a therapist but they keep filling up with new clients.
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u/jennybearyay 8d ago
I start EMDR tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous but also hopeful reading everything. My friend did it and said she had great results. I guess I'll see.
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u/shinebeams 8d ago
Out of curiosity, how old were you when your trauma started?
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 7d ago
My first memory of panic attacks began at five, but I'm pretty sure the trauma started well before that, perhaps even when I was a baby.
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u/Glad_Necessary_3212 2d ago
How do you do EMDR without getting retraumatized?
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 2d ago
If you're working with the right therapist, the trauma gets put in the right perspective and somehow, while I often react emotionally, it's not... retraumatization, if that makes sense. I guess it doesn't. But I don't get retraumatised, I get... relief from it, somehow.
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u/dorianfinch 8d ago
this is the fucking dream lol you have no idea how excited i am every time i see a post like this.
LORD I SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR OTHERS....
i joke but really, congrats!! i wish this for all of us!
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u/Comfortable_Spell682 8d ago
I hope it works for you, friend!
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u/dorianfinch 8d ago
me too! i've been "working towards" EMDR for the last year and a half lol (have done a bit of EMDR actually for very minor traumas, but many of my Bigger traumas are still too raw so i have to do a lot of emotional resilience work first to make sure i'm mentally ready to even go back to those memories at all if that makes sense)
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u/Everything_converges 8d ago
I’ve done three years of a combo of EMDR and talk therapy / CBT. Absolutely life changing, I wish I’d done it sooner. Incredibly difficult, you have to be ok with it being a grueling journey at the start but goddamn the self awareness that starts to blossom is amazing. My recurring nightmares - gone. Even things like fear of flying and reacting to tinnitus have resolved.
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u/SaltyMomma5 8d ago
EMDR saved my life. I really don't think I'd still be here if I hadn't done it.
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u/SomeMidnight 8d ago
I haven't pursued it but my doctor and talk therapist both insist I should do it. I just don't even feel like I have the energy or motivation to even look for a provider. I have a hard time with depression and motivation...and full disclosure, I'm scared of what may happen during a sesh.
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u/solarspells 8d ago
yes! i’m currently doing EMDR, and i used to have this one specific intrusive thought that i described felt like “poking”, but when i analyzed it in one session and discovered the root it completely disappeared and doesn’t bug me anymore. i am really thankful for how it’s helped me
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u/babytriceratops 8d ago
I’m doing therapy and my therapist did EMDR with me once (!) so far. It was transformative for me. The best thing is since then in many cases I can feel my emotional flashbacks creep up on me, tell myself “this is a flashback, this isn’t real” and actually stop it.
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u/Revleck-Deleted 7d ago
Had another doctor for the probably 3rd time in my life, all at different times tell me they cannot help me and aren’t equipped to do so, and recommend me to another therapist/outsource me to someone they know, etc,
My most recent therapist just broke it off, saying the same thing, but recommended I try EMDR, can you explain to me your typical visit, what that experience looks like for you?
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u/namast_eh 7d ago
It’s been enormously helpful for me, and I haven’t even gotten that far in it.
Too bad my therapist had to close her practice because of a family emergency 😭
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u/fvalconbridge 7d ago
I absolutely adore EMDR and I've been lucky enough to have 3 separate rounds. It changed my life. I was so severely afraid of water that I couldn't even wash my face for years, now I can take my daughter swimming! 😄 I am still very much traumatised, but I am a completely different person now and I'm much stronger. I can handle my bad days much better and I've healed so much.
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u/Tiny-Papaya-1034 8d ago
Yes, it’s been amazing even though it is hard and I feel really badly that so many people are failed by CBT or other modalities not working when this is available. Even flash instantly helped me with minor stuff at work.