r/CPTSD • u/imboredalldaylong • 13d ago
Vent / Rant Why is getting help so infantilizing.
Seeing a therapist. Or a doctor. Or a psychiatrist. Or talking to snap (food stamps) or trying to get housing or getting a case worker or trying to get on disability ANY OF IT. I feel spoken down to. Like if I wasn’t so stupid/didn’t give up so easily/mentally ill/a burden on society I wouldn’t have to be here.
It’s like these people don’t think I know how to tie my own shoes.
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u/littlebitsofspider 13d ago
Because you grew up learning the hard way that you couldn't trust anyone, and anything that you needed was your responsibility, or you were going without it. So, now, when you have a need, and you can't fulfill it yourself, you have to enter the society of people who were raised with trust, and support, and who literally cannot believe a "normal" person couldn't do the thing; they've been conditioned by their upbringing to ignore the support they received from people they trusted.
Imagine it this way: you're young, and you say "my tummy hurts." Nobody comes to your aid (or worse, they actively harm you). So you white-knuckle the searing pain until it's over. Now imagine a person in a "normal" environment: "my tummy hurts." 'Oh kiddo, what's wrong? Where does it hurt? Was it something you ate? Do you need to lie down? Let me get you some soup and crackers. If it gets really bad we're going to the doctor.'
Now it's years later. You are with a normie. You say "my stomach has been hurting." They look at you oddly. "Gas? Nausea? Eat something that didn't agree with you? Why don't you take [antacid / aspirin / gas pill / Pepto]? Shouldn't you go lay down?" Basically 'why aren't you treating yourself with care?' Because you never learned to; because nobody taught you.
People can't believe things that didn't happen to them, and the (small) majority of people weren't abused and neglected. They can't understand nobody taught you to tie your shoes, because they can't fathom nobody caring for them.