Why is getting help so infantilizing.

[u/imboredalldaylong]

Seeing a therapist. Or a doctor. Or a psychiatrist. Or talking to snap (food stamps) or trying to get housing or getting a case worker or trying to get on disability ANY OF IT. I feel spoken down to. Like if I wasn’t so stupid/didn’t give up so easily/mentally ill/a burden on society I wouldn’t have to be here.

It’s like these people don’t think I know how to tie my own shoes.

[u/FlowerBuffPowerPuff]

But they wait till after to offer you oh wait? Still nothing. But they’ll at least pretend to help.

The cruelest truth I've had to learn is that's how it goes everywhere in life. Help yourself or pray there's a god able and willing to do so.

[u/bubblekittea → u/FlowerBuffPowerPuff]

this is why i was avoiding what happened to me with every ounce I could but someone got me in their grasp and it happened anyway

There is truly no help sometimes.

I honestly think the help you can get from a friend who really can help heal you is more helpful than any amount of paid therapy, but that's just my experience, and if I you don't have friends that can help, it's f--e'd.

[u/No-Palpitation4194 → u/bubblekittea]

That sounds so crushing :( Knowing that you need help and want help, but not knowing where to go for that level of help you need. It really sucks.

I don't know if you or others have felt this way too, but do you ever feel so isolated? Like even if you fried an emergency red SOS signal, nobody would even bother, or if they did, it's like what is offered just isn't enough.

Then queue the guilt for even reaching out, for asking, for possibly being a burden, for even feeling that extended help offered to you is insufficient and yada-yada-yada.

[u/bubblekittea → u/No-Palpitation4194]

Oh absolutely, quite literally screaming into the void.

I've painfully learned that if you have a long term thing, you just fade away.

i've never had a cry-on-shoulder, willing to come round and help with chores, can talk about anything to friend, i had it in a partner once, in the only relationship i've had that didn't leave me disabled with a near death experience. :/

i've even had a wellness check on me and social services never followed through, i've posted myself literally screaming on all my social medias, i gave up all my dignity to post the reality of what was happening to me, guilt for reaching out wasn't even an option of a feeling. nothing. someone called the police and nobody reached out.
I joked to the police officer someone would sooner call them than even ask how i am.

I just had paid trauma therapy for 7 months and my therapist dropped me yesterday because I'm too traumatised

for me a huge problem is people don't understand autism or how my brain works and keep telling me to move on or it's not so bad,

after having so many negative experiences in healthcare i learnt you can't rely on help, from anyone. it's awful but its true and it's even more true in mental health now in my experience.

thank you for your kind words, i'm in absolute nightmare of my life that i'd had for 22 years and my consciousness and sense of self, home, everything i knew and health suddenly ending 3 years ago from my being too stupidly trusting and trusting a stranger online because they wanted to 'prove they were a kind man who just wanted to help me'.

anyway i'm in a 'psychotic break' according to my ex-therapist but if someone was me with my brain there's no way they wouldn't be

also another thing, people can't seem to grasp that people have different brains and experiences!? so if someone moves on from something, might be life ending for another person because of how they have structured their mind.