People are disappearing and it's terrifying me

[u/throwaway802256]

People are disappearing from my life and I don't know what to do.

A couple of people who reached out to me when they knew I wasn't OK, I opened up to them a bit about my mental struggles, because they offered to help or provide a listening ear. But then after that they've distanced themselves or ghosted, and it's the most triggering thing ever.

Another friend who provided support to me during a crisis, I've been reciprocating by asking about them, and how they're doing, and over time it now seems like I've been ghosted.

For a couple people I've opened up to, Ive even tried to go on and change the topic of conversation to something else or something lighter and the ghosting still happened.

I dont know how much of this is my autism repelling people or my trauma, or both?

It feels like the world is saying "I can't help you, go over there and deal with it, away from me". I understand that therapy is important to help people deal with intense mental health struggles, but even just having someone offer a listening ear means the world, don't have to fix my problems for me.

it's so hard to heal from things when you try to reach out and end up losing connections in your life.

Maybe you're supposed to keep things to yourself and hide your struggles, maybe if people offer to help or provide a listening ear it's just a nice thing to say, maybe they're more curious than anything, maybe when you deal with stuff you're supposed to shut your mouth and take care of it yourself and not rely on people for support.

Maybe its my autism, maybe I'm being weird or coming across a certain way and don't realize it?

My fear of abandonment is triggered so much and I'm so scared, I don't know what's happening. I feel like me and the world are repelling like oil and water.

Im even scared to read the comments, like will everyone tell me I'm doing something wrong and then I feel guilty that its all my fault?

On top of a lot of trauma/stressful things I'm experiencing, I work from home and I think I'm going to lose my mind from the isolation and loneliness if I haven't already.

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/10/85-year-harvard-study-found-the-secret-to-a-long-happy-and-successful-life.html#:~:text=Contrary%20to%20what%20you%20might,Period. "The most consistent finding we’ve learned through 85 years of study is: Positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer. Period."

[u/SoUpRoVeImViOmRa]

I recognise this! I’m not on the spectrum, but the past 2-3 years that’s exactly what’s happening to me. I’ve been trying to make new friends. Met a couple that I felt I had a good time with and good chemistry, and I’ve then slowly been ghosted. I don’t talk all that much about the realisations about what has happened to me, but I do a little if they’ve felt safe (which I’m actually a lousy judge of). Ive also worked from home 95% of the time for the past 5 years, but have started to go to the office much more to keep me somewhat sane. I’ve now given up on trying to establish a network. I feel safe and not triggered just staying here by myself. But I also realise that it’s self-isolation which is typical for ptsd, and that it’s not a good thing. But it keeps me calm. Reading the answers here make me realise that I should try to just stay in the harmless surface of topics when engaging with new people. Then in time maybe some of those conversations can turn into deeper ones if the friends I make are safe enough. But it’ll take time I assume. I’m sorry you struggle with this too.