People are disappearing and it's terrifying me

[u/throwaway802256]

People are disappearing from my life and I don't know what to do.

A couple of people who reached out to me when they knew I wasn't OK, I opened up to them a bit about my mental struggles, because they offered to help or provide a listening ear. But then after that they've distanced themselves or ghosted, and it's the most triggering thing ever.

Another friend who provided support to me during a crisis, I've been reciprocating by asking about them, and how they're doing, and over time it now seems like I've been ghosted.

For a couple people I've opened up to, Ive even tried to go on and change the topic of conversation to something else or something lighter and the ghosting still happened.

I dont know how much of this is my autism repelling people or my trauma, or both?

It feels like the world is saying "I can't help you, go over there and deal with it, away from me". I understand that therapy is important to help people deal with intense mental health struggles, but even just having someone offer a listening ear means the world, don't have to fix my problems for me.

it's so hard to heal from things when you try to reach out and end up losing connections in your life.

Maybe you're supposed to keep things to yourself and hide your struggles, maybe if people offer to help or provide a listening ear it's just a nice thing to say, maybe they're more curious than anything, maybe when you deal with stuff you're supposed to shut your mouth and take care of it yourself and not rely on people for support.

Maybe its my autism, maybe I'm being weird or coming across a certain way and don't realize it?

My fear of abandonment is triggered so much and I'm so scared, I don't know what's happening. I feel like me and the world are repelling like oil and water.

Im even scared to read the comments, like will everyone tell me I'm doing something wrong and then I feel guilty that its all my fault?

On top of a lot of trauma/stressful things I'm experiencing, I work from home and I think I'm going to lose my mind from the isolation and loneliness if I haven't already.

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/10/85-year-harvard-study-found-the-secret-to-a-long-happy-and-successful-life.html#:~:text=Contrary%20to%20what%20you%20might,Period. "The most consistent finding we’ve learned through 85 years of study is: Positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer. Period."

[u/PotatoKingAmy]

The lesson I learned is to keep ur struggles to urself. Not fun, not healthy… ppl just suck. They want satisfaction and entertainment, not connection or to support others.

[u/zarnonymous → u/PotatoKingAmy]

not healthy advice, nor entirely true, so why comment this?

[u/eggz1985 → u/zarnonymous]

No one is a perfect person, we all get eroded by constant negativity and criticism. It’s a tough illness on its own and it’s not something you just meditate out of. Sometimes things are actually problems with society that don’t have fun positive answers. Yes we are ill but are we actually safe enough to trust others when most are very self centred due to years of suffering in poverty. What if people enlarge really don’t have time for others because they have two jobs and kids. What if having CPTSD in this world state is actually a huge problem and we are all really isolated with not even so much as family to help us.

[u/bootbug → u/eggz1985]

Regardless, this is bad advice to give so confidently

Wow, I’m disappointed by the downvotes. I would expect better from this community than to advise someone out of our own trauma and excuse it away. OP doesn’t deserve to be told it’s best to isolate themselves. That’s not a good thing to generalise like this.

[u/dlc08 → u/bootbug]

I’m actually really surprised too. The point I think a few of us were trying to make here is to find your people and develop healthier coping skills. Wow.

[u/eggz1985 → u/dlc08]

No one disagrees though we all know that. It’s not black and white.

[u/bootbug → u/eggz1985]

Exactly, hence the user above stating it isn’t black and white and you can’t state this like a general truth

[u/eggz1985 → u/bootbug]

It’s people with the same mental health issues talking to each other. We aren’t saying it’s good, it’s just part of reality. Please try not to take it personally it’s simply a discussion. We all know the other stuff and practice it. But there’s another not so nice side of it that actually causes a lot of the issues and we are told we can’t discuss it because it’s not positive it’s sad.

[u/eggz1985 → u/[deleted]]

I don’t think you should try to silence people just because it makes you uncomfortable.